Death In The Family
 

so my mom just called me and told me my little brothers 2 month old just died. he's really upset and doesn't wanna talk to anyone. can't say i blame him. i feel kinda like a douche though cause it isn't really bothering me. i never met the child and i'm not really big on kids in the first place, nor am i very family oriented. am i suppose to be all sobby and histerical? i don't usually cry at funerals and stuff either. i dunno, i just feel kinda weird, like i should be more upset, but i'm not. what do you think?

just accept how ever u feel
i dont really cry when i hear of a death either
i often am confused if i should be feeling worse than i do
but im sure you do care and you understand its a bad and sad thing but you dont have to be hysterical because others are

You are just feeling what you are feeling, I remember when my cousin died last year I could not feel anything. So don't worry, you are fine.

i would say you're perfectly normal feeling the way you are. i rarely display emotion or get attached to people so you're not the only one.

That's really horrible news man. How the baby die? Was it like something it was born with or was it sudden?

sudden. his x-wife told him she was sleeping w/ the kid and when she woke up the baby was pale so she tried to wake teh baby up to no avail and called 911. they pronounced it DOA. i dunno, i'm in a pretty good mood considering the news. like i said i never even met the kid, his x-wife is really young and i'm pretty sure she's bi-polar, my little brother only saw the kid like twice since it's been born.

wtf

what that sounds like to me is SIDS?

its sad sad stuff, but just do your best to be there for your brother, you dont need to cry or really be stricken with grief, but you do need to be there for loved ones that are stricken with grief. they say the death of a child is one of the most devastating thing on a human psyche. i remember my father once telling me just the thought of losing one of his kids sends him into a tailspin of momentary depression, so i cant even imagine losing a child that young, forever left to think of what he would have been like as he got older. so just give all the support you can give.

very sad, very very sad indeed. but dont cut yrself up on how you feel. its not your fault you feel that way... selfish yes but be strong for those who feel worse and be there for them. love to you and yours and anyone affected.

grief is different for everyone man

Yeah, I'd say so. My mum works in early childcare and she told me about SIDS cases and stuff.

yeah i'm thinking it's SIDS as well. the autopsy is done, but i haven't seen the results of it yet. the funeral is on friday... man, i haven't been to a funeral in like 10 years. only good thing to come out of this is i finally have an excuse to buy a suit.

That's a little sad, don't you think?

nah i wouldn't say so. sometimes i feel/get called "heartless". honestly i just can't stand to see people get all drama queen-ish about stuff, it really annoys me. my mom is famous for doing that. seeing people crying and screaming makes me uncomfortable. it's not very dignified and find it kind of corny. but that's just me...

I don't think it matters how you feel inside, but what you do for your brother outside. This is much more about him than about you. You can't control your inner feelings, but you can show your brother you love him. He just experienced one of the worst things that could ever happen to a person. If you're not completely there for him, then you really can't call yourself much of a brother.

i totally agree, and i have been there for him don't get me wrong. i started this thread because i told a friend of mine what had happened and they couldn't believe my reactoin to it... like why aren't you crying and etc. and she's also a friend of mine that does the whole overly dramatic thing allllllllllllll the time.

I'm so sorry to hear about this.
When dramatic things happen sometimes you have to act dramatically.
Grief should be shown publicly beacuse it is not just about your pain, it is also about sharing pain. When you show your pain you show that you are part of something that is bigger than you.