being dead
 

sometimes i have an idea that i'm not really alive. i'm just here to help a few people or fulfill one purpose like, programmed in me and i'm just waiting for it to come and i know what to do. you know what i mean? what do you think your purpose in life is?

my "purpose" in life is to live well

ps- i don't think there's really such thing as being dead. once you're dead, you cease to be. i'm unconcerned by the fate of carcasses.

then again, there's bras cubas...

oh, i know i'm here to be awesome as hell (and i'm doing quite well with that) but sometimes i just wonder.

oh like a "larger plan" or some such shit?

religious people are into that... i'm more of a materialist in my views in that i think that any determinism concerning me is purely genetic-- i don't believe in a cosmic puppetmaster.

My purpose is to take up space and gather as much knowledge as possible and impart it to a chosen few.

well of course. the self is a fiction, if you think about it. the "soul", in its most common version, the "individual ghost", is what exactly?

individuals are just little packets of genes spreading out in the big cosmic muck. each equipped with an individual brain to help carry out its reproductive mission. the muck is what's real, a huge churning cauldron of genetic goo, plus the whole "inorganic" universe is far from lifeless-- this place is enormous.

so anyway hm yeah the self is a biologically-based social fiction, but upon closer examination such barriers melt.

re: the people you've met, well, there's something to that, but i wonder if it's not our dreamlife that seeks out those people during the daytime (whatever hours that may be-- my daytime runs from 11am to 4am, for example);

whoa whoa. nightmares aren't a good sign.

maybe you need to change something.

sorry if i space out between posts but i'm prepping for lunch. i have a lovely bunch of green chard that's going to make a great fritatta (that whole "living well" bit i do take seriously).

anyway, missed out on what?

i believe everything happens for a reason.

my purpose in life is to enjoy the ride.

ha!




sorry, i had to.

but i believe we make the reasons for what happens

it's a useful surival tool

ps- at least i didn't post a whale penis.

hah ha ha-- cupcakes in the summer! but i gotta look good in my speedos!

(the horror...)

anyway maybe you're anxious that all is well and you're not used to it or maybe you know how there's a part of us that loves death & destruction & always is trying to sabotage shit? maybe the angry gods are asking for a sacrifice. unfortunately, i'm not versed in such matters. maybe, fuck something up on purpose: say, the 2nd batch of cupcakes. that might restore the balance by shifting necessary disasters to minor things, and hence appeace the dragons.

???