Fulfill your dreams, then...
 

I watched 'Man on Wire' last night. The guy spent a good deal of his life thinking about and then planning and finally executing his stunt to wire-walk between the WTC towers. And then what?

I just realized that is essentially my current problem.

After I graduated college, I decided I wanted to ride my bicycle across the US. After I did that, I kinda got depressed. So I found a tour between MT and AK. Then I decided to move to AK. And things were good.

But I needed a change and decided to move closer to my aging mom in NJ. But now, I'm kind of adrift.

Has this happened to you? And how did you get over it?

you don't. you just give yourself another silly goal.

Don't give yourself goals that can be fulfilled or that can be fulfilled in that definite way. Give yourself something to do that will be a constant life struggle and for which fulfilment is only in the constant working on that purpose.

To use a military metaphor: be a watchman whose goal is unreachable because they always need to be on guard, rather than the bomber pilot whose job is finished after the bombing is done.

yeah just like in that sy song...Quest for the cup...

I disagree to a point. Question is....do you think reaching a goal will make you happy? And then you feel let down until you think of the next goal that you are sure will make you happy this time? And this goes on and on and you've still not reached the happy state you wish stay in?
Then yes, I agree you are spinning your wheels.
I mean, you've done a lot of cool stuff! If you took a break from constant goal-setting, would you be "happy"?
Replace "happy" with "inner peace". Does this help?:o

all suffering stems from desire - Buddha

somebody make this man a birthday thread, for fuck's sake.

i realized quickly in life that goals were kinda empty. however, they are useful to keep you from going into the shitter-- that's where the real pain lives. avoid at all costs.


exactly. knox is the new william blake, who wrote "the most sublime act is to set another before you." well, we're "post-modern" (pffft) and jaded but we still need this shit, right?

i'm currently working on various things that keep me sane. without them, i'd spend all day here writing crap.

This.

I had a similar thing a few years ago and decided to get over it by learning the guitar. There's no moment while learning the guitar where it's 'finished'. It's an ongoing thing, which I really like.

that's provided you like it. every time i've tried the guitar it gets fucking tedious at some point. maybe i don't progress fast enough, maybe i'm not interested, maybe my fingers hurt. but it needs something you enjoy doing--

for this, then, you don't actually need goals, because the enjoyment is in the present moment, in the process and not the goal-- which negates your corroboration of lurker's statement.

me, i like arguing pointless shit-- hence, goal-setting was not required by me to post this crap. see?

Oh, ok. misunderstood this at first glance.

Of course. I wasn't suggesting anyone actually take up the guitar, just that it represents the kind of goal that doesn't have a definite end point.

As for it lacking goals altogether, I have to disagree. Learning something like the guitar tends to entail a series of ongoing goals that can be met but only for them to be replaced by another, even more challenging series of goals.

Yes, the enjoymant of the process 'in the moment' is crucial but I needed a sense of progress, however slow and minimal, to really encourage me to continue.

yes, i thought of this as i typed my answer but i kept from refuting myself to emphasize the point that in the case of the guitar, for you, while goals are useful, it's the process itself that is the reward.

i supposed i was trying to distinguish from being motivated by pure goals and being motivated by pleasure, which creates its own goals as it moves along.

it's a subtle distinction but a good one, considering how many of us have pursued stupid worthless "goals" that have no reward except for the getting it over with.

anyway, enjoy your guitarra-- magical realist that you are, i'm sure that butterflies come out of the strings as you play, and they go out to crash against windshields of those double-decker buses you people have.

me, i'm a glutton, i like cooking, both the process (creative chaos) and the goal (eating!).

but anyway i should stop mumbling and go do what i need to do today.

That's how I feel everyday, but I just go on trying yo live life to the fullest extend.

you must suffer a lot, considering your picture posting.

I don't think biking across the USA is a "silly goal" though.

Yes, just set more goals before yourself. Otherwise you might as well not get out of bed.

surviving everyday is a goal...

But you only enjoy the process because of the goal. You've only come to enjoy cooking because you like food. But as with you not liking the process of learning the guitar, well just because you want the goal doesn't mean you will necessarily enjoy the process to reach that goal.

And with guitar to play you need to practise, but if you've reached at least some level of skill then to practise is playing anyway.

So I don't think there is any pure enjoyment in processes.