post stories from your visits to the doctor
 

I'm don't even remember the name of mine.

when i was a kid mine was called Dr. Bal-Hatchet
I didnt realise the comedy value until she left, alas

My dentist had this terrifyingly calm Edinburgh accent. When he miscalculated my anaesthetic once and drilled into my teeth, i screamed and he went "Did that hurt?" in a tone that strongly implied he had known all along.
He used to operate on himself whilst drunk, at least someone in my school thought he did.

One of the doctors at my surgery is called Dr A. Romero. I asked her if her husband was a film director.

^haha.

one time when I was 7 I felt really really uncomfortable when a male doctor had me get completely naked and walk in straight lines and do somewhat weird exercises in front of him. Because I had a stomach ache. Strange shit... I felt weird. Never went back to him, and we heard he retired shortly after, despite being a very young doctor...

When I was 13, and an asian female doctor was checking me for blood in my stools so she shoved a gloved finger in my ass VERY VERY FAR, and I remember involuntarily getting an erection. I apologized.

One time my back doctor got sued for $3,000,000 for killing someone on accident. The next patient he had to see (I had scoliosis)? ME! He did a great job on me, though I still have back pains to this day. When I tried to go in there to get a "mild painkiller", he said I was too young (16) for that and threw me out, saying my back pain would go away. Went back when I was 19, saying my occasional back pains were worse than ever, and he said the same thing, I was too young blah blah. I haven't went back since and I heard he gets sued for a few millions every year.

My counselor/therapist/psychiatrist woman I saw from 12-18 is my favorite person in the world. She retired and I stopped going. She was AMAZING. She told me it's okay to jerk off. She told me it's okay to smoke some pot. She gave me advice -- SHE TOLD ME WHEN I WAS WRONG. She didn't just sit there and go "mmmhmm. Oh. Yeah. Okay. AND WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY?" That woman was INCREDIBLE. I think she was my first crush. I told her EVERYTHING about me and she reacted with actual human emotion, and she didn't just scribble everything I said down. It was very therapeutic, having an impartial party tell me when I was wrong. It got me through my high school years, definitely.

Finally, one time at a Scissor Shock show, a fan gave me a piledriver (wrestling move) while I was still "singing" and the microphone got really shoved in my mouth. Metal mic. Chipped a front tooth off. I didn't notice for a while. And then... well... turns out, yeah, one of my front teeth was snaggled BIG TIME. Had to go to a dentist and get BOTH my front teeth grinded down to be even. But they're still shorter than my other teeth by half an inch or more. Not a big deal but was a pretty weird time. I brought it up to the guy who piledrived me -- not blaming him or anything, I mean it was me with the microphone in my mouth! -- and he just laughed, got all defensive, then laughed again. Shrug. It only cost, you know, $200 or something, without dental insurance. "Only".

Cool thread Gabe.

I've never had a memorable visit with a "family doctor." Several fun
ER visits, though. I was hospitalized at two weeks old with respiratory problems, that I still have trouble with. Stitches in my head when I was 3 (my first memory is getting them removed...I got a grape lollipop after.) Lots of trips for asthma. A couple for panic attacks. Stitches for cutting my thumb on a meat slicer. There is nothing like the sensation of laying back on the stretcher, waiting for the doctor to sew you up, and feeling warm thick blood drip onto your palm.

My therapist was rather cool, too (clearly not as cool as Park's though).
He bought a copy of my book, and may even have read it. Haven't talked
to him in 2 years, but he helped me immeasurably.

^ Rad as hell.

I also want to mention that I had to go through about 10 therapists I either despised or had no ... repor.. repoire?... however you spell that word... with before I found one I loved.

rapport

I had one from Iran who had fled during the revolution in 1979, and i found myself more interested in her life than my own. Made me feel slightly ashamed for living in such a free place and not being able to function correctly

Rapport?




EDIT: Fuck you Ikara CUNT.

I was going to say that ER stories will do too, so I'm glad you edited your post. Plus, those kind of stories make for good tv series.

Thats Mr Ikara Cunt to you

there used to be a Dr. Cocaine working near me (that was his real name)

I hate the er. I had to wait 6 hours for the ER alone.

then another 5 waiting for doctors n shit.

Are you pregnant again?

I thought everyone has seen goatse by now. :confused:

I have only been to a doctor twice in the past twenty years.

This post always cracked me up.

"I have to go see Dr. Cocaine, I have a runny nose problem..."