Art or Arse? You be the judge.
 

Art or Arse

Damien Hirst got his fish in a tank
some say it's art others think it's wank
Sarah Kent says he's doing quite well
you gotta make your art and you gotta sell

Tracey Emin is a media whore
so what the hell's she crying for
everyone agrees her art is shit
she's made her bed now she lies in it

Duchamp signed his old piss pot
it was ant-art you silly twot
now I think you've all lost the plot
you'd call it art if it was Sarah Lucas's snot

Charles Saatchi the Svengali
he's in love with Mammon and appearing arty
he gave Damien the shark and told him to suff it
but he'll go down in history as Thatcher's puppet

now the Turner Prize is run by a joker
who goes by the name of Sir Nicholas Serota
he wants to be weird and avant garde
but the poor old girl's just trying too hard

if Turner was alive he'd be spinning in his grave
he'd raise his hand and give the two fingered wave
you think it's art but it's arse
to con you mugs isn't very hard

(c) Childish 1996/2000

Stuckism is a radical and controversial art group that was co-founded in 1999 by Charles Thomson and Billy Childish (who left in 2001) along with eleven other artists. The name was derived by Thomson from an insult to Childish from his ex-girlfriend, Brit artist Tracey Emin, who had told him that his art was 'Stuck'. Stuckists are pro-contemporary figurative painting with ideas and anti-conceptual art, mainly because of its lack of concepts. Stuckists have regularly demonstrated dressed as clowns against the Turner Prize. Several Stuckist Manifestos have been issued. One of them Remodernism inaugurates a renewal of spiritual values for art, culture and society to replace the emptiness of current Postmodernism. The web site www.stuckism.com, started by Ella Guru, has disseminated these ideas, and in five years Stuckism has grown to an international art movement with over 100 groups round the world. These groups are independent and self-directed.

Oh,i've seen that a few weeks ago.It's as rubbish as the rubbish they are commenting on.The very fact that these 'geniuses' use their 'work' to slag off irrelevant 'artists' is a sign of a complete lack of ideas.I'm Brian Sewell so i'd know.

Co-founder with Charles Thomson of the Stuckist Art Group in January 1999 , Billy Childish’s activities have always been firmly rooted in the underground and his methods - now being trendily feted as ‘guerilla’ - have gained him both the respect and envy of those who pose as 'being on the margin' whilst still enjoying the benefits of a corporate budget.

Some of the artists of the Stuckists movement really appeal to me. I like the approach they have to art. Charles Williams, William Redgrave, Gina Bold and of coarse Sexton Ming's provocative work.

"DELIVERANCE"
24" x 36"
Acrylic on board

I like painting queers and animals and witches. They are outcasts. Please have kind thoughts when you look at my work. I can hear what you think. Let me rest. I don't like ARTY TYPES. Ralph Steadman called me a failed interlectual (sic)."'

And still more, on the eve of the opening of the first Stuckist exhibition, 15 September 1999:

"You want a fisting? I'll fist you, you cunt! And I won't use any lubricant! Your arse will look like shredded wheat when I've finished with you!

"Do you like my paintings? Well, fuck you, you cunt. Go stick some pipe up your arse!

"I don't like you and you don't like me so let's fuck. I don't like anyone really. So I guess I'm fucked over. I'm an angry young man who's getting old.

"I like to shit. And I like painting it. So fuck you up your arse you cunt. Don¹t talk to me else I'll smash your face in. You can go hang by your bollocks.

Sexton Ming

ehhhh....

Brian Sewell is a member of the Catholic Church, so that doesn't surprise me pork. He also raises awareness of issues surrounding circumcision and other forms of surgical alteration of the genitals.

?????????

I don't really know much about him, but he comes over as a very interesting person.

He's one of my favourite art critics.He infuriates me at times and i don't always agree with him but i've never read something by him that didn't interest me at the very least.

as long as they listen to rather ripped, they are cool in my book

I'm looking at this site and there's some really interesting stuff about him and well known Brit artists. the mp3's of "I wanna be your man" and "He's so sexy" are well worth listening to.

If i'm not mistaken Chabib could have interests in his work. Give peace (piece) a chance.

He has a habit for being unmerciful wich is a godsent gift in the artworld.

Are you trying to be cuntish like Daycare?

And how! :)

Who, in your opinion, should win the Turner prize?
Judy Grey, Gillingham
Nicholas Serota, for furthering so many worthless careers.

You are famous for your feuds. Which one is or was your favourite?
Katherine Armfelt, London
Am I? I am unaware of it. If feuds there be, then they are with the Arts Council, the Serota tendency and the BBC, all of which regard themselves as above criticism. They have been exhausting and debilitating; they have resulted in my total exclusion from the seas of public influence, power and patronage. But the Vicar of Bray has never been my role mod

Is it true that you believe that there have been no great women painters because women are not talented enough? Are you a misogynist?
Christine Smith, by e-mail
I am a misanthrope rather than a misogynist, not good with people, far too shy, no social graces. As for women painters, I suspect that intuitively they are more intellectually honest than male painters, better judges of themselves and more inclined to retreat into deserved obscurity. Look at women who are famous for their art and you find nothing but blind immodesty.

How should we be commemorating the anniversary of 11 September?
Sarah Jasper, London
We shall, but I am not sure that we should. Was it not, to some extent, our own fault?

Which living artist would you least like to be stuck in a lift with?
Nina Spencer, by e-mail
Tracey Emin with a full bladder.

What is your opinion of the art works that you have inspired? For example, Francine Germaine-Wilson's 'Brian Sewell has a Tiny Cock' and the statue of you by students at Central St Martins.
Gary Hawke, Colchester
Inspired? I've seen none of them, nor have their makers seen me.