student loan horror stories
 

Make me feel better by telling yours

I don't have any student loans. Paid for my studies by eating out old ladies, which explains the frequent cold sores that cobble my chin and nostrils.

There. Do you feel better already?

i went to oxford for 2 months. student loans paid them the full £3000 tuition fees which i have to pay back (on tope of 4 years tuition from the course i actually completed). joy.

I just always stay just below the salary level I need to reach before paying them back.

one time I kept getting kind of weird phone calls from the studen loan office. It was really late at night, and kind of creeped me out. And they wouldn't stop calling back. It felt like harrassment. So finally I called campus police and reported it. Well next thing you know the campus police call me back and they're in a panic like "quick! Get out! The phone call is coming from your dorm! Do you hear me? The student loan is in your dorm!"

a lot of english students come to holland now because it's cheaper
this year is up to 500% more english students

the winners in these money games are the alpabetic bankers
modern information is become a tool of the rich to get even more rich
making poor families suffer and take loans to go to school

this is no modern humanity
i don't need a diplome to figer that out

i got $300,000 in student loans to get a phD in medieval poetry. now i brew soy lattes at starbucks for $14,000 per year. hey, free coffee! but anyway that's not half of the story.

my weed budget took a horrible toll when the loans dried up, cuz the starbucks paycheck doesn't cover it, so i started dealing a little on the side for this guy named bluto. bluto is a fucking sociopath and he rapes me and gives me a dirty sanchez whenever he feels like it.

i threatened to quit and deal for someone else but he shoved a gps locator up my ass and threatened to sell me to a vietnamese sweatshop where i'd die in weeks. the rapes have increased lately and i don't know what to do--i like my life as a serf in america, except for the non-financial rapes. bluto is not a benevolent pothead but a sociopathic tweaker, and i fear for my life.

i'm trying to schedule a surgery to remove the gps, but it's deep in my colon and my health insurance doesnt cover "machinery self-installation"(they think it's a sex thing) so i'm going to a clinic in juarez where they have offered to take care of it in exchange for some body parts (kidney, half a liver, maybe a cornea). i hope bluto doesn't catch me before i cross the border (or worse, after i do but before the extraction, when he can buy off the cops).

any suggestions on how to disable the gps tracker without shoving a stick of dynamite up my ass will be welcome.

also, i should have gone to law school.

no, you should become the truth !@#...
the truth school
better then the law school
because in law school you learn to defend the lies
in order to get paid

"..I paid cash, all ones..."

suchfriends!

dude i thought i had spotted your reincarnation in the washington post comments section

i owe like 3500 on a 1500 dollar loan and i keep sending in the form to get my monthly payments down to zero while i make fuck all and can't afford payments, yet they seem to lose the letter... a lot

but the guy who always connects me to my account manager at the loan company is a patriots fan with a maine accent, so i enjoy the minute or so every month when i call fucking great lakes saying NO, I DON'T OWE YOU SHIT and he connects me to the bitch. there's no way to call her directly with like, my acct info because of some weird security setting, but i don't mind because maine accents are hilarious.