Signs you bought a bad Christmas tree
 

1. It's constantly bragging about its "trunk size"
2. Some guy named Mujibur puts a crappy Statue of Liberty on top of it
3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours
4. It's very small and says "Air Freshener" on it
5. It keeps heckling while you try to do a lame top ten list10. It's two feet tall, forty feet wide
6. Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it
7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride
8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it
9. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"
10. It's two feet tall, forty feet wide

(Source: Top Ten Lists from LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN) years ago

How's your tree doing?

11 It explodes in your face.
12 Its possessed by the spirit of a demon.

We've avoided all of those things though, and our tree is very fine indeed.

13. you sneeze and suddenly it's just a bunch of branches.

14. The salesman kept replying with, "That's how it's supposed to be!"

My tree is fake. Eh.

15. A nearby bluejay makes a shitnest in the tree and lives in it

We just put up the tree on friday. It's real. Not a single ornament on it yet.

Ours is fake, has been for years.

There's pros and cons to fake trees thaough. I haveaa fake one now, which is decent because at least we're not murdering an innocent tree, but then again don't you just love the smell of that stuff that christmas trere smells like?

We've never had a real Christmas tree. The one we've had for the last 15 years is one of those where you match the color/letter of the branch with the slots in the base. Horrible. Scratches you and leaves fake needles everywhere.

We have trees for christmas?

ours is fake and tiny.

if a sonic youth fan bought that tree, it's probably built from feedback skronk.

Mine pretty much qualifies for "It's two feet tall, forty feet wide" It's a cute tree but the lights my mom bought look like Mexican Fiesta colours, I miss the old lights.

i have a beautiful tree, but no one to sit around it with...

le sigh.

I wouldn't know what it smells like...:(
Exact same for us! I think we've had it around 15 years, and it's the same description! Woo!

Real trees are way better. We get ours from my grandparents house (they own 90 acres) My grandpa has certain ones he wont let anyone cut down though, he knows his stuff.

I love those fibre optic xmas trees.

you use your mother's balls to decorate your tree? that's evil!