[atsonicpark]

I want to say another thing. Back 4 years ago or whatever, whenever I'd post anti-MM rants, I think one of the things that turned me off about the band was how I'd read a live show, and it'd be like "they were all in your face, confrontational, proud to be hated" and stuff. And that kinda turned me off, and I couldn't get into their recordings because of it.

But actually, I've come to realize since then that their music, in all its sloppiness, is actually quite brilliant; no riffs, no real structure, no melodies, taking rock to year zero. It's actually quite interesting in that context. And I dunno, maybe that live thing was just their rawness, their energy coming out. Whatever.

Either way, they earned their success. They did work hard to achieve what they've achieved, they played tons of shows. Actually, I feel really bad about ever saying anything bad about most bands (what!), especially the ones who have worked hard, toured, played beat-up equipment, put their heart and soul into something .. even if people didn't give a shit. Back when I posted all the negative stuff, I hadn't played a bunch of shows yet, so I had no context of what it's like to put your love into something nightly; while I don't personally care if people aren't into it, it does kinda make you stop and go, 'What's the point of me wasting my time/effort/energy/money?'

Even if I am not personally into a band's sound, I am glad bands are out there making it. I totally respect the bands who just go for it. Don't get me wrong, there are lazy ass people who just record some feedback, never tour, and somehow are the hottest thing on the blog block. But MM wasn't, and isn't one of those bands. They earned every fan they have.

So, it may be weird for me to defend them now, but I totally get them now, and I've changed as a person overall. No longer will I be so hateful towards bands just because I don't "get" them -- obviously, the band is playing what it wants to play for some reason, it must be something they enjoy doing; I should be happy for them for making the sounds they want to make, not so upset because I'm not into it.

I feel really bad about any of the bands I have insulted -- except Mars Volta -- and I feel bad about the people I've argued with on here, about stupid bullshit. I have definitely changed as a person; I used to be a very angry person, in general. I'm not going to blame anyone, but let's just say my life hasn't been easy. I will say that some of my posts were highly exaggerated, obviously, and at one point, I was proud to be hated, proud to be some kind of all-knowing self-deluded message board asshole. But obviously, that character died a long time ago...

And in the past few years, after my aunt's death, my girlfriend of 7 years cheating on me out of nowhere, and my mom recently developing cancer and having surgery this week.. I realize how petty and stupid I was for not enjoying life, for being so angry with people, for causing arguments on here. For not respecting the people who love music. Looking back on it, I shouldn't have let weird press, live show reviews, and whatever else cloud my judgement. I should have just said, "Okay, this stuff isn't my thing; I'll come back to it one day." Because here I am, many years later, coming back to it, and realizing I actually enjoy it.

I'm really sorry to anyone I've ever offended, pissed off, disrespected, bothered, annoyed, angered, jerked around, etc.

Except Keeping It Simple.