[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by SONIC GAIL

I cannot afford it. I want to soooooo bad, but I cannot just leave everything and go to some fancy rehab across the country for 6 months like on the addiction shows it is just not that simple. I DO NEED HELP! Because everyone depends on me I cannot leave them what would they do?

If I get insurance it takes half of my pay for the month. if I go into out patient treatment it averages $800 to start and then around $500 a month. I cannot go cold turkey cause i always end up giving in or just drinking myself to the point of puking. Thats what i am trying now and i have never drank so much in my life I used to hate alcohal.

I want to be normal SO BAD. I am so jealous of ppl who are naturally happy. I don't know what that means I don't want to be who I am.

You are really sweet for being concerned it made me cry.

gail, nobody is "normal", that's a myth, but i'm sure there are ways for you to find a cure for your illness. if you had a brain tumor or a heart valve problem would you say "oh i can't afford it"? well, maybe.. but this is serious business too.

not sure about treatment facilities proper, much less in your area, but isn't NA free for anyone to join? and maybe they can hook you up with a social worker or help you find treatment alternatives.

the problem has at least two sides (maybe more), one is psychological the other is physical. (other people would say spiritual, etc, but you know i'm not made that way). in any case, i'm no addiction expert but i am lucid enough to see that the way you think about your problem is very very wrong and needs changing. once you change that, i'm sure doors will open.

seriously, stop making excuses and get help wherever you can get it. start right now. one way will lead to another, new opportunities will appear, etc., but one step at a time, you know? i've never been an addict but i've been crazy & broke so i know you can find $10 copays and shit like that if you look hard enough. but go see about NA already.