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Originally Posted by !@#$%!
no offense gail, but go get serious treatment & stop fucking around with shit recommended by a fucking head-shop clerk for fucks sakes. it's not like you're 18 and single and nobody depends on you.
i understand you have a problem, and i'm not finger-pointing at you for this. it's a disease, you know it, i know it, we all know it. but get it treated! it's like you're trying to cure cancer with leeches. go get treatment, for fucks sakes. quit fucking around.
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Wow, I can't believe I agree with
him but he is actually right. Now you know I'm being serious because how often do I ever agree about anything he says? NEVAR.
And I would add a few points: (sorry for this being so long i've tried to edit it down)
He is right when he says don't worry about being "normal". If you start believing there is: "i'm not normal" "i'm sick" "i have all these problems" it becomes a self fufilling prophecy. There isn't actually anything wrong with YOU, all that has happened is that you have taken too many drugs. The solution is simply to be sober. It really isn't that complicated. All that emotional pain and anguish - you will be very surprised to find that it actually mostly goes away or becomes managable when you stop taking drugs. Not that life is perfect but it is a lot easier. A lot of that pain inside you is still there because you have been trying to blot it out with drugs. It's like those bad memories are still there but drugs makes them look less clear, like some abstract art painting instead of a still life painting. But get off drugs and you'll find you get rid of the whole goddamn painting and its frame will hang out of the garbage bin forgotten about. Things will seem a lot better and more managable. Eventually most of the crap that is causing you to feel bad and take drugs just dissolves away and it doesn't matter anymore.
Those addictions shows aren't reality. And deciding that you are sick and you want someone or something to sort out your problem for you isn't the way to go. You simply have to go SOBER and you yourself have to do it. Nobody can do it for you. I am not saying others can't help, but you can't rely on their help as a crutch to do what needs to be done on your behalf. How many different ways can I or an N.A. cousellor or anybody say "GAIL - GO SOBER."?
Now it will take time and there may be f ups along the road but that really is the only way to do it.
And seriously, STOP fucking about with legal highs. That shit is dangerous, there is often the most unbelievable dodgy crap sold in those places and it can really do some damage. No more of that.
I went to hospital over and over again, until after people telling me over and over and over again "STOP TAKING DRUGS AND DRINKING. GO SOBER" it finally, finally sunk in.
What happens is that say after 3-5 months of sobriety - ok you still feel a bit crap sometimes, but you'll defintely start to notice some changes. Then when you are getting up to 1 year you will DEFINITELY notice some changes and it will be a lot easier.
Statistically, the rate of relapse goes down massively after 2 years sober, and then after 5 years drops to almost zero. This doesn't apply to all drugs but to most I think.
What I recommend doing is writing down all the years of your life since you started taking drugs and how you felt during them and what drugs you were on. Remember the times that were good? Bet you were sober during them.
The human brain is not designed to ingest all those drugs. You've taken so many that your dopamineric circuits have been "rewired" so that your brain sends you signals to go take them so it can release the chemical dopamine, which is the pleasure chemical. Now the longer you stay sober the more that your brain returns to normal.
It is ALL in your brain, nobody can find any kind of peace when they are relying on putting these drugs into the machinery in their head that doesn't require them. Your brain has to fight to cope with all the chemicals and it gets exhausted and doesn't function smoothly. Simply giving it long periods of sobriety and some good food is enough to heal it.