[ann ashtray]

I've had some weird encounters, but nothing that went far enough to qualify as abuse.

I was 14 at the time. Someone much older than myself (who he was I'd rather not disclose) lured me into their bed via a bunch of horror films they had rented. I didn't really see anything wrong with it, until after I past out only to wake up later with this other individual spooning me. I assumed he must have fallen asleep as well, and in his sleep assumed me to be someone else I'd rather not disclose, either. I slowly moved out of bed, and as soon as my toes hit the floor he said "where are you going?". I told him what he was doing and that I was going to sleep in another room. He more or less confirmed my initial suspicions regarding him thinking I was someone else, and then requested that I stay with him because he wasn't used to sleeping by himself. This left me in a predicament, and a very uncomfortable one at that. In an attempt to avoid any further weirdness in the way of convo...I told him I'd stay as long as he stayed on his side of the bed. Well..I fell asleep and the same exact thing happened again, only this time I refused stay...and this was after several offers of money, and cigarettes (which I didn't smoke at the time, But I can see why this person may have assumed that I did). I told some people, and being that I was generally considered to be a black sheep at the time no one believed me. Thankfully, they do believe me now.

I don't really consider that abuse, though I would be infuriated if I were to find out this happened to my son or daughter. Thankfully, at that stage of my life I was old/wise enough to realize something was very weird and I needed to leave wherever it was I was currently at.

One situation that I feel could be considered abuse....my dad would leave his pornography in places to where it was very easy to access. Nothing to shocking for a now 27 year old, but being a first grader asking my dad about what was going on in certain videos I had discovered was a bit strange. He tried the whole "well, when two people love each other/where babies come from" bullshit, but that didn't, and he couldn't give me an explanation when I asked "well, why was his wiener in her mouth?". A bit fucked up, yes. After that I guess it didn't matter much to him anymore and he got serious kicks off of forcing me and my brother to watch Faces of Death. I guess this qualifies as abuse (and other forms of abuse did occur), but I'm not sure if any of it truly boils down to sexual. I don't remember ever doing, or being asked to do anything of a sexual nature. Not sure where that first situation would have went though had I decided to stay in that room.

Life's weird. Adults seldom realize the decisions they make can sometimes GREATLY affect the lives of their children even years after the fact.

None of the above situations have any affect on me at all these days...at least none that are obvious. I'm sure seeing porn in those early elementary school years probably didn't do much in the way of giving me a healthy outlook toward sex....but then again, most people don't so who cares?