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I started dating a woman that I have no right being attracted to. I can't quite figure it out. She's pudgy (I usually go for the svelte PJ Harvey type body) has nothing in common with me (doesn't read books, listens to Madonna, Lady Gaga), can't speak very much English (and I can't speak much Japanese), and really likes me (I usually dislike people that like me). I'm not sure what's happening, but I'm thinking about her all the time and fantasizing about marrying her. It's only been one month. Maybe I'm dillusional and totally losing it. She lives two hours away from me, so maybe that has something to do with it. She's very innocent and helpless and always laughs at my jokes. She has lots of fun and never stresses out about stuff. I guess that's why I like her.
But, there's another girl, one that is totally my type (when I met her she had a Sonic Youth t-shirt on), and I'm really really attracted to her. I think there might be a chance that it could work out at least short term if I pushed it. She lives even further away (have to take an airplane to Osaka to get near her), and she's much more "hard to get". If I could craft a woman out of clay and give her the personality of my choice, she's what I would come up with (beautiful and so fun and cool). We hung out for an entire weekend, but I was too nervous to make a move and didn't want to sour the fun times we were having. We talk a lot, but it never sways away from friendly joking and talking about music or helping each other with our respective languages.
I'm making girl #2 a piece of art that I'm excited about... I think she'll like it too, and it might give her the hint that I'm interested. Yet, I sort of just want to cut my loses and stop having to think about purusing women. I just want to settle down in a way. The tricky bit is, there's something inside me that really cares about girl #1 and I wouldn't want to lead her on if I'm going to screw her over in the future. Argh... I hate it when I have to turn to the message boards for advice... please be kind.
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