JUNO - 5/10
I've seen htis before but .. this is one of two movies I want to recut. You know those "recut movies" they upload to btjunkie and myspleen and shit? I want to recut BRINGING OUT THE DEAD... you know how Scorsese has that horrible habit of not having original scores, and instead, overstuffing his films with Rolling Stones and shit, songs that don't fit the atmosphere of his films. BRINGING OUT THE DEAD would be a
masterpiece with a better soundtrack. There are a FEW moments of ghostly piano/haunting drone/super low strings on the score that sound incredible,m but most of the movie is dominated by classic rock shit. So, I want to recut the movie, and in the scenes where there's classic rock and no dialogue, I would replace the rock with drone. I'd also take out some of the scenes with classic rock playing in the background. I'd take out a few moments, like with Marc Anthony's luantic character, who is annoying yet soemhow gets more screentime than just about anybody else. I'd also insert even more music, change the look of the film a bit so it's a bit more decayed and nasty looking. It'd be a lot superior.
Uh, back to Juno....JENNIFER GARNER IS THE CREEPIEST FUCKING PERSON ALIVE!!!!!!!! It's proven in this fucking film. I want to recut this to make it a horror film. Just make the film weird reaction shots of her, reacting to shit Juno is doing, and have voiceovers of her saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO BE A MOTHER. I WAS BORN TO DO IT" in a low voice. I'll take out all the shitty pop music and make the shit droney as hell. I'll mainly focus on the negative moemnts in the film.. the stepmom smarting off to the nurse... Juno going "sonic youth SUCK, they're just NOISE!" After that, there'll be complete silence for about 30 seconds with just negative reaction shots from all the characters. I'll just make the whole film a lot darker, more mediative, and quieter./
...anyway.
Yeah, this film is "witty" and "hip" and "cutesy", everyone treating Juno good because she was pregnant, instead of smacking that bitch around. That's what would happen in real life -- "Watch your smartass mouth you idiot! You've ruined your life!" Also, Jennifer Garner's crazy ass would be locked up in real life. Her pedophile husband would be, too, though.
Creepy film. Michael Cera is horrible. God he is horrible. Which makes SCOTT PILGRIm all the more amazing, I love that fucking movie but jesus. That movie and Superbad both rock, but everything else kinda sucks, and he's ALWAYS horrible. Nick and Norah, Year One, Youth in Revolt, all shit shit shit. He sucks. What the hell?
mean girls 2 - ?!/10
Caught about 25 minutes of this on ABC. What I saw was about a 0/10. Strangely, the principle returned from the first one. What I saw was absolute garbage, big shock eh?
the maxx - 10/10
I guess I never realized how similiar XAVIER: RENEGADE ANGEL was to THE MAXX in parts. Both shows/movies feature a beast with undisclosed powers (though he is definitely powerful) wandering around, mainly deserted.. uh.. deserts,,, helping people but not really knowing how to, and usually creating distress for everyone they involve with, meanwhile caught in an existential crisis. Both shows are dark as hell, though Xavier is a lot more purposely funny.. though both shows are satirical and bizarre.
THE MAXX... like The Head, aeon Flux, some of Liquid TV/CArtoon Sushi, The Brothers Grunt, Ren and Stimpy, Rocko, and all those other cartoons MTV used to show.. is downright
mindbending (also see: mindblowing). Subversive. To think that this was a mainstream show, that was promoted heavily and reviewed (favourably, btw) everywhere? Wow. I mean, nowadays, this wouldn't even air, anywhere, I don't even think adult swim would cover it since it's not "comedic" enough.
Anyway, if you want to see genius art and animation and don't mind a rushed ending (setting up a new season that never happened)), get this thrill a minute film.
Yeah.