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he left because his unit was deployed to afghanistan to murder villagers and extract the oil that flows in their veins. this is brought back to the homeland to fuel lady gaga's monsterous and all consuming vagina.
the vagina is devouring everything thrown into it at a seemingly unstoppable rate. however kinn and his followers seem to believe they can at least plead with it for favour so that they might be killed swiftly and mercifully instead of suffering a long and agonising demise. they have enthroned kinn as the leader of their new age death cult, and he delivers increasingly erratic and desperate sermons which draw wild and fantastically implausible conclusions from a mixture of leftist critical theory and a kind of schizoid neo buddhist mysticism.
the group has been steadily amassing new recruits as revolution and dwindling world oil supplies plunge the planet into crisis and rage. a secret meeting of coalition military officials was called, and a black ops mission to assasinate kinn and break up his group was covertly launched.
however the agent, a mentally unstable alcoholic soldier suffering extreme PTSD, has not been heard from since arriving at kinns jungle fortress 23 days ago and is presumed dead.
rumours indicate kinn may be in beijing, lecturing party officials on the looming collapse of american and european liberal capitalism and how to strengthen the dialectics of the state marxism. party sources deny these claims, while speculation is rampant, with conflicting rumours suggesting kinn may be either dead or somewhere in tehran. it is widely believed kinn's group has been funding itself through pretending to have hacked and plundered schemata of breakthrough alternative energy technologies and bidding various corporate and governmental interest groups against each other. it is also rumoured that since this tactic has been exposed the groups funding is dwindling and its members are on the run fleeing increasingly coordinated interpol efforts to track and imprison anyone caught with connections to it. however, the trail of a suspected member of the group collapsed in sweden under allegations of judicial impropriety and collusion between kinns group and members of the swedish anti terrorism authorities. prosecutors claimed their emails were being hacked and their offices had been bugged, presumably by someone in the anti terrorism unit who was passing on information to the suspects lawyers. members of the nations parliament and media called for an independent investigation, efforts towards which seem to have stalled and the suspected member of kinn's group has long since left the country.
meanwhile, the vagina has swelled to cover a landmass the size texas, with recent tectonic plate activity attributed to its rage. military and nuclear efforts to halt its growth and rampage are proving futile, with mass evacuations of the southern US causing chaos on the nations dilapidated transport networks. the offficial state of emergency has been extended indefinitely.
the horror, the horror.
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