[Glice]

Seems a shame to leave the poor chap hanging all these many years...

Originally Posted by atari 2600

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

No - luggage is a means to an end; the moon an ideological, political gambit. The latter moves things quicker than general common sense.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Babies are taken, in many cultures, to represent peacefulness and innocence; poor sleep is generally associated with anxiety.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

A movie is generally thought to be a theatrical event; TV is considered documentary. So 'in' a play, 'on' a report (meaning featured).

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Perspectives away from ourselves drives a lot of our desires (hence art and so on). Hence people will pay for a different perspective in a topographically literal sense.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Technically, there are easily more than 50 who could be pres'nit. But otherwise, Miss America is about very little, so a broad choice highlights the finitude of those criteria.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Societal decency is a matter or procedure, not necessarily logic. Moreover, it's a gesture of where the lines of the trust in a personal matter lie.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Illiterate people probably have the same effect - it's a load of letters. It's only the aspergic/ anal who try and make sense of it, foolishly.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Of course; the plaintiff's aural response is of lesser importance than the 'hearing' of a court of 'equals'.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Homonymy, look it up.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

The 'Buffalo' doesn't refer to the meat - obvious, if you consider that buffalo don't actually have wings

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always clear?

The colouring doesn't affect the chemical process, I imagine. I'd have to look into it more.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do they call them "Free Gifts"? Aren't all gifts free?

It's either emphatic (and therefore tautological) or implies that a gift may incur undisclosed costs - viz, the free may refer to the financial cost but not the general expenditure.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Worldwide, I'd say no - In much of the west, I expect that Christmas day is probably a fair bet to be mattress-sale-free.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Where do forest rangers go to "Get away from it all"?

Wherever they feel peaceable and relaxed. The forest is not absolutely considered a 'get away from it all' place. I enjoy the beach, for instance.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Whatever happened to Preparation A through G?

H stands for haemarrhoids - it doesn't imply a sequential letter-based nomenclature.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

If a cow laughed hard, would milk come out of her nose?

Unlikely - the milk is made elsewhere, and it would need to be regurgitated through a series of stomachs, all equipped with one-way valves. If it were drinking milk, it might - but it stands to be seen whether cows actually laugh.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

Because 'onety' isn't a word. Tenty-one is perhaps the more pertinent question, but I suspect it's to do with the nature of English in its early phases, when 12 was a more significant number than 10 is considered now.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up...what did he go back to?

'The drawing board'. It's a figure of speech - so while we have an idea of what a drawing board is, this person (not necessarily male) who invented it would go back to whatever stood in for our concept of 'drawing board'. Back to the tabula rasa, perhaps.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Assassination implies a certain value to the person, or a value in the murder - so wives of nobodies can have their husband 'assassinated' because his death has a value for her.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

A colleague.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

I refer you to my earlier answer.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Again, answered already.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Again, answered already.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

It's easier to manufacture cardboard into squares; pizzas, meanwhile, are easiest made circular.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why don't women put pictures of their missing husbands on beer cans?

Implying men do the same? Perhaps it's just never been thought of before?

Originally Posted by atari 2600

If we're here to help other people, what are the other people here for?

Also to help. There's a lot to do.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?

'After the beginning of dark' or 'after it has got dark' - we frequently shorten sentences, for a variety of reasons, but they are mostly understood by the contingency of a common language.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Does a vacuum suck though, or is the vacuum what creates the illusion of 'sucking'?

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

'Second' refers to seconds, as in the smallest main increment of an hour.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do we say "Something is out of whack". What is a whack?

A good and fair question - perhaps the first in this list. Suggest asking google.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do "Tug" boats "Push their barges?

Do they?

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

Yes, relatively speaking - the front.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Perhaps they know something you don't know, louder.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

I think it's a name, rather than an invitation for amphibians' furniture.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

Many inherit money from family, and simple, menial jobs are easy to come by.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why don't women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans

Again, answered this already.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Oh, you.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

You would have to take this up with the department itself - the UK has no such department.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

'He' isn't a person. You've misunderstood something there.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

The figure of speech continues to fail to live up to its hyperbolic appearance.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Because they don't know everything. 'Psychic' doesn't imply knowing all things.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

Ante meridiem refers to the time of day; amplitude modulation, the radio band.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

What do chickens think we taste like?

Chickens don't think, to the best of my knowledge.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

What do people in China call their good plates?

Possibly china, assuming homonymy and English. Otherwise, whatever the Chinese word for that material is.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

What do you call a male ladybug?

Whatever its biological name is - we call them 'ladybirds' here. The lady may refer less to gender and more to their effeminate appearance (according to whoever named them).

Originally Posted by atari 2600

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

Bald.

Originally Posted by atari 2600

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Smurfs are fictional creatures.