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[quote=atari 2600]How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Michael Parkinson knows
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Cos babies are hell
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
television is a medium, a movie is a production. You cant be in a medium
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Natural bloody human curiosity, the bastards
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
That would be the insanely unreliable system of democracy
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Come to England, we dont have rooms
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
The lexicography is lost amongst the all consuming flavour
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes
What disease did cured ham actually have?
Lack of imagination
Why do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Never tasted it
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always clear?
Our old friend the refraction of light
Why do they call them "Free Gifts"? Aren't all gifts free?
As a selling point you silly silly thing
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Casimir NoMatress Day
Where do forest rangers go to "Get away from it all"?
A Corner
Whatever happened to Preparation A through G?
Supercesesssion
If a cow laughed hard, would milk come out of her nose?
Sexist Pig, er cow
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
Bacon demands it
When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up...what did he go back to?
The wanking board
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
It depends how sassy they are. Unsassy people are murdered, sassy peolpe are assasinted
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
911 was an inside job
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Its trying to read your mind, and in doing so has become very confused
Why don't women put pictures of their missing husbands on beer cans?
Beer-Can / Baaacon
If we're here to help other people, what are the other people here for?
Violent pornography
Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?
Refraction of light again, you really must do some science
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
American
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
Because Emily Matliss makes you cum with her hung parliment
Why do we say "Something is out of whack". What is a whack?
Its 2/5 of a goose
Why do "Tug" boats "Push their barges?
I give up
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"It is absolutely ridiculous, they are behaving like a cult" - The Vatican
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