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!@#$%! · 09.19.2011, 02:39 PM

i got $300,000 in student loans to get a phD in medieval poetry. now i brew soy lattes at starbucks for $14,000 per year. hey, free coffee! but anyway that's not half of the story.

my weed budget took a horrible toll when the loans dried up, cuz the starbucks paycheck doesn't cover it, so i started dealing a little on the side for this guy named bluto. bluto is a fucking sociopath and he rapes me and gives me a dirty sanchez whenever he feels like it.

i threatened to quit and deal for someone else but he shoved a gps locator up my ass and threatened to sell me to a vietnamese sweatshop where i'd die in weeks. the rapes have increased lately and i don't know what to do--i like my life as a serf in america, except for the non-financial rapes. bluto is not a benevolent pothead but a sociopathic tweaker, and i fear for my life.

i'm trying to schedule a surgery to remove the gps, but it's deep in my colon and my health insurance doesnt cover "machinery self-installation"(they think it's a sex thing) so i'm going to a clinic in juarez where they have offered to take care of it in exchange for some body parts (kidney, half a liver, maybe a cornea). i hope bluto doesn't catch me before i cross the border (or worse, after i do but before the extraction, when he can buy off the cops).

any suggestions on how to disable the gps tracker without shoving a stick of dynamite up my ass will be welcome.

also, i should have gone to law school.

09.19.2011, 02:39 PM	#7
!@#$%! invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: mars attacks Posts: 42,482	i got $300,000 in student loans to get a phD in medieval poetry. now i brew soy lattes at starbucks for $14,000 per year. hey, free coffee! but anyway that's not half of the story. my weed budget took a horrible toll when the loans dried up, cuz the starbucks paycheck doesn't cover it, so i started dealing a little on the side for this guy named bluto. bluto is a fucking sociopath and he rapes me and gives me a dirty sanchez whenever he feels like it. i threatened to quit and deal for someone else but he shoved a gps locator up my ass and threatened to sell me to a vietnamese sweatshop where i'd die in weeks. the rapes have increased lately and i don't know what to do--i like my life as a serf in america, except for the non-financial rapes. bluto is not a benevolent pothead but a sociopathic tweaker, and i fear for my life. i'm trying to schedule a surgery to remove the gps, but it's deep in my colon and my health insurance doesnt cover "machinery self-installation"(they think it's a sex thing) so i'm going to a clinic in juarez where they have offered to take care of it in exchange for some body parts (kidney, half a liver, maybe a cornea). i hope bluto doesn't catch me before i cross the border (or worse, after i do but before the extraction, when he can buy off the cops). any suggestions on how to disable the gps tracker without shoving a stick of dynamite up my ass will be welcome. also, i should have gone to law school.
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