Cultivate an English (specifically London) accept. You should have a few versions of this in your LANG VOICINGS sub menu. Try ENG-COCK-CHIMNEYSWEEP-VICTORIA. My experience is Americans love it and it'll enable you to distance yourself from their excesses by treating them as an exotic curiosity. (As they will you, delightfully.) Order some Earl Grey at the next Wrestlemania. You'll feel reborn. I'm assuming you already have the software that counteracts teeth rot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXDXh5rPMn0