[cars_willkillyou]

We started dating in the beginning of Feb, then on Valentines Day, which has always been a bad day for me and relationships (or lack thereof most of the time...which account for the better vdays in my life) she tells me shes pregnant. It was so early, that the doc said there was nothing to do as nothing had even started to form. so the following week, we went back and got the termination pill. I helped pay for half, a little more than half, actually, and the entire time we dated she smoked for free pretty much everyday. Or at least it was always available, as i'd leave my stash at her place.

Fast forward 2 months later, and I'm starting to realize that who we are as individuals, are simply not compatible. She doesnt agree. So maybe I'm what shes looking for, but shes not what im looking for. Shes 3 years younger than i am, has no job, takes a couple of college classes, but for the most part just chills all day with her friends whom she has known since middle school. Im not from here, so i dont really have many friends at all, and all of my friends live in the northern part of the state. We come from very different places, hang out with very different people, and i was overall, unhappy/stressed about our relationship. And when i factor in my own ambitions, which includes moving in August, possibly out of state, it didnt make sense for me to be with someone i didnt see a future with.

The really shitty part is that i made friends with her friends before i met her. Over the last year, a total of 4 of her friends started working at the place ive worked at for almost 3 years. In fact, I helped start the business, and build it from nothing. Now, I feel ostracized and outnumbered when i work with them, because of the shit shes talked about me, when I was trying to do the decent thing by not stringin her along, and calmly and logically explained where i was coming from and why i thought we needed to break up. She took everything as a personal attack, and blames it on the abortion.

I'm not saying that I'm right or wrong about anything. But i just want her to see our differences for what it is, and go our separate ways. I was even trying to stay friends with her, but this is apparently not possible. She wants to "fix us" or work things out, etc. I dont see how you can fix who you are and how you think. And even if we could, for how long, and how long would it take, how much work and time would it take? Certainly too much for me. I work almost 40 hours a week, and im taking the hardest classes of my curriculum before I can graduate by the end of the summer.

The relationship got off to a very rocky and unhealthy start. I felt guilty if i wasnt there, with her, helping her through the whole ordeal of what she was going through emotionally and physically, and when i wasnt she'd constantly call or text me while i was at work or in school about whatever she thought or felt that day, and how she wanted me to be with her. For someone who hasnt been in a real relationship in over 3 years, to spend every moment of free time with someone during such a stressful time, when the relationship is only two weeks old? I dove in the deep end head first without learning to swim.


I post here because i needed to vent. feel free to comment or PM if youre so inclined, any perspective or opinions, be it positive, negative or supportive, are welcomed, as im posting in a public domain, its kind of an invitation. I posted it under "irrelevant" because im not trying to, nor expect anyone to care or share. Sorry for the rant.