[Severian]

Because I'm a very strict once-daily minimum schedule of mentioning Kanye West, allow me to use him as a comparison. I've said before that Drake has gone from being Kanye-lite to being the anti-Kanye, and I think that's more true than ever now. Take what I just wrote... Drake is (often grudgingly) approved of by the music fan equivalent of "basic bitches;" people who don't really care much about what they listen to or where it comes from, but still want it in their lives. They listen to Pandora, they like what's on the charts because it's on the charts and easily accessible, and Spotify will play it on their Hot Tracks playlist -- or whatever it's called... I dropped Spotify a few months back. But how often do you encounter someone who genuinely loves Drake? I work with a number of sickeningly young folks these days... interns, or reporters fresh from journalism school, or, worse yet, multimedia kids who basically majored in "Fucking around with MacBooks." They all like this Drake song or that Drake song, but even they think he's an absolute tool, and while they may know "Hotline Bling" and "Work," they don't know the names of his first few albums.

Enter the Kanye comparison. Kanye is hated by a lot of people, sure, but generally speaking they represent a completely different type of listener. Kanye is known as an asshole or crazy by the masses, by the "whatever's-on-the-radio" folks who like Drake songs they can't name, but those people almost always — in my experience — concede that he's a crazy talented artist. They most certainly know the names of every one of his albums dating back to 2004, and while they may not necessarily bump "FML" or "Hold My Liquor," they can sing along with pretty much every Kanye single up to 808's, before he started going anti-pop.

The effects are similar, but at opposite ends of the spectrum. Drake isn't considered a "legend" by anyone but himself. Scoring pop hits doth not a legend make. People who don't really "know" music still know Kanye, and real music fans, even the ones that hate him, acknowledge his enduring influence and skill. He may not be scoring #1 singles anymore, and his songs may not be jumping from the speakers of every high school kid with an iPhone, but he's universally respected as an artist. Drake is the opposite. He's finally got a #1 single, 7 years into his career, but it's called Fucking "One Dance" and it eats shit. Then there's "Work," a Rihanna track that as you mentioned was written by PND, and "Hotline Bling" that was outright stolen. His songs are consumed blindly by millions of fair weather fans, but he's universally known as a douche. And as Wheelchair Jimmy. And nobody thinks he's a skilled or gifted artist. The possibility doesn't even pop into people's heads, and the word "genius" is not even part of the conversation.

Drake is utterly of the moment, reflective of these unbearably stupid times we live in. Calling him the biggest artist in the world is a disservice even to other empty pop artists. He's like the Coldplay of rap. His music requires no thought or understanding, his character is utterly one dimensional and opportunistically, falsely, self-deprecating. But his songs are inoffensive, easy, mass marketed shit. He won't upset your parents (he's not black enough... amirite?), and he has so totally inserted himself into hip hop culture that even real rap fans kind of have to accept him because he's featured on this track and that track by this or that "real" rap artist.

Essentially, Drake is big because he's inevitable, not because he inspires genuine affection from fans. He has become part of the cross-promotional wind in modern music, and you can't get away from the wind. And who doesn't like a nice breeze sometimes? Nobody. But Drake's impact is just as fleeting as a passing breeze, and somehow a good deal lighter.

I think I hate Drake more than I like Kanye.
I actually wanted Eminem to release that rumored diss track to put him in his place. Eminem. Me. You know me well enough to understand how much it says about my hatred for Drake if I see fucking Eminem as the lesser of two evils.

Anyway, hopefully he just goes away. I thought his initial plan was to not rap past he age of 30... wasn't that it? Well, he's fucking 29, so if he sticks to that he's pretty much out of here. But I think that number has grown to 35 at least, if not 40, God help us. God Fucking damn him. God damn that stupid beard! God damn his stupid fucking face!! And that ridiculous racing stripe he sometimes cuts into his stupid hair. God damn the shape of his head. God damn his creepiness -- why's he checking girls' phones? That's red alert creeper behavior in the real world!

Ok I'm getting worked up.