just got some quick replies cuz i gotta get off the internet for the night (its saturday ffksakes)
i'm sure your grandmother was a fine person and you're rightly proud of her but i don't think she'd want you to go bananas in her name. i'm pretty sure she was a lot wiser than that.
best luck with the therapist. and to reiterate that defense mechanisms can be good and healthy. level IV or "mature" defense mechanisms are things such as: acceptance, courage, tolerance, sublimation, altruism, supression, humor, etc. aka coping skills. then there's the crazy/maladaptive ones levels I-III which you can discard. denial, etc-- toss.
the rest of this chat ("stronger together" etc) we can pick up in the morning or some other day because it's not really the important stuff.
the important stuff right now is coping/learning to cope. defense mechanisms level IV activate. be well.
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ETA:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defe...evel_4:_Mature