i guess the only part i misunderstand is your use of the term “wanker”...
what exactly do you mean by it? that word has so many senses some precision would be helpful. i gotta assume now you dont mean “ineffectual” since you just described them as highly effective... i think.
ps i also don’t understand the “not for kids”. was he referring to ronaldos pants?
but srsly, shared meaning is a difficult thing to arrive to. do you not enjoy their skill?