[demonrail666]

Nah, not a Humvee. He's far too versatile for that. He can do the off road stuff while being just as comfortable on a school run. He's really hard to nail down. He's a midfielder really but he can defend when he has to - but he's not a defensive midfielder, a la Mascherano. Nor is he an attacking wingback like say Jordi Alba or Marcelo. He's not really a playmaker either - although he's done that too. At some point in his career, he's probably played in every position on the pitch, except maybe in goal - and he's probably had a go at that, too, and done ok.

So probably not even a landcruiser. I googled car equivalent to a swiss army knife and apparently it's a Subaru Forester Turbo. So now you know: James Milner's the Subaru Forester Turbo of footballers.