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!@#$%! · 11.26.2018, 01:24 PM

SO, eugene (careful with that axe), was thinking about your multiple problems and how one thing after another after another and i realized

the girl confidence thing is not important. you will deal with that eventually. i mean, it's almost a... cosmetic issue.

i think the big thing that fucked you up hard is your mom's condition.

you quit your job as a consequence of that.

my guess you probably lost the girl as a consequence of the unemployment.

but the real issue is your mom's health. how is she and how are you coping? do you live in the same house?

i know america is all about "productivity" and "working hard" and shit like that. i'm not a big believer in hard work as a value in itself. working hard for what you value, yes. for the sake of it and above all? makes no sense. workaholism is a psychological problem.

so, not sure what's going on and i don't wanna pry. but i understand you stopped working to take care of her? or is somebody? i don't know.

look. i'm not gonna compare a mother to a cat. i still have my parents (knock on wood), my grandparents died far away from me, but when our old cat died, fuck, it was the closest thing to a baby that we had, my wife especially, it was fucking terrible. TERRIBLE. and i was glad one of us could be with him at all times because he needed constant care in his old age. he eventually went in the summer (not this one, 2 years ago), with both of us at home, etc. which was good and right. would have hated to be away. we didn't euthanize. he had the will to live all the way to the end. it fucked us up! we could do nothing for a while except lie there.

SO while i can't comprehend what you're going through, my minor experience with a death in the family (yes it was) lets me see that sometimes life needs to be put on hold while dealing with things like that. and that's okay. maybe you could have taken family leave instead of quitting your job. o well. mistakes happen. you're young. you can start again.

anyway i don't know the state of things but #1 i'd suggest is look maybe for grief counseling? because that's the core of what's fucking you up i think. you need to deal with the reality of pain and loss. it's fucking brutal. i know mine, i can't imagine yours.

that, and the fact that winter is a fucking horrible season that really doubles down on depression unless you ski or something (i have to go out for hikes. being cooped up kills me)

ok. don't know how to proceed next here. just wanted to advance the notion that you maybe wanna deal with your big problems first, and then the little ones will solve easier instead of distracting and overwhelming you.

11.26.2018, 01:24 PM	#24
!@#$%! invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: mars attacks Posts: 42,483	SO, eugene (careful with that axe), was thinking about your multiple problems and how one thing after another after another and i realized the girl confidence thing is not important. you will deal with that eventually. i mean, it's almost a... cosmetic issue. i think the big thing that fucked you up hard is your mom's condition. you quit your job as a consequence of that. my guess you probably lost the girl as a consequence of the unemployment. but the real issue is your mom's health. how is she and how are you coping? do you live in the same house? i know america is all about "productivity" and "working hard" and shit like that. i'm not a big believer in hard work as a value in itself. working hard for what you value, yes. for the sake of it and above all? makes no sense. workaholism is a psychological problem. so, not sure what's going on and i don't wanna pry. but i understand you stopped working to take care of her? or is somebody? i don't know. look. i'm not gonna compare a mother to a cat. i still have my parents (knock on wood), my grandparents died far away from me, but when our old cat died, fuck, it was the closest thing to a baby that we had, my wife especially, it was fucking terrible. TERRIBLE. and i was glad one of us could be with him at all times because he needed constant care in his old age. he eventually went in the summer (not this one, 2 years ago), with both of us at home, etc. which was good and right. would have hated to be away. we didn't euthanize. he had the will to live all the way to the end. it fucked us up! we could do nothing for a while except lie there. SO while i can't comprehend what you're going through, my minor experience with a death in the family (yes it was) lets me see that sometimes life needs to be put on hold while dealing with things like that. and that's okay. maybe you could have taken family leave instead of quitting your job. o well. mistakes happen. you're young. you can start again. anyway i don't know the state of things but #1 i'd suggest is look maybe for grief counseling? because that's the core of what's fucking you up i think. you need to deal with the reality of pain and loss. it's fucking brutal. i know mine, i can't imagine yours. that, and the fact that winter is a fucking horrible season that really doubles down on depression unless you ski or something (i have to go out for hikes. being cooped up kills me) ok. don't know how to proceed next here. just wanted to advance the notion that you maybe wanna deal with your big problems first, and then the little ones will solve easier instead of distracting and overwhelming you.
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