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!@#$%! · 02.10.2020, 08:49 PM

this one is very fucking funny

Biden is the most electable candidate, just not right here or right now

By
Alexandra Petri
Columnist

Feb. 10, 2020 at 3:20 p.m. MST

HUDSON, N.H. — It is very clear that what Joe Biden has in spades, what we fear the other candidates may not have, is electability. That is why you should vote for him: because, assuredly, people will vote for him! People currently at your caucus site or polling place are not voting for him yet, but they should, because, as previously stated, he is electable. They should vote for him because he is just the sort of man for whom people will definitely vote. Just not the people right here or right now.

There is a complicated physics to this, which you have to understand. I do not think I am explaining it right. Biden is still the most electable candidate, although he got only the fourth-most votes in Iowa and is polling only fourth best in other places. But that is a misunderstanding. Just because people there in Iowa were not voting for him does not mean he is not electable. They were just trying to show that their state should not be first in the process. Consider how unelectable Elizabeth Warren is — and she got more votes than he did! He will be voted for by people in states such as Pennsylvania and, of course, Ohio and, to be sure, South Carolina and definitely, absolutely Wisconsin and maybe even others! His electability is in the future. He is the one who will bring first this party together, and then the nation!

Also, Republicans will vote for him. When you look at his totals currently, you must mentally add a flotilla of Republicans who have not yet materialized. They are not here now, because this is the Democratic primary, but they will absolutely be here, in the future. You must believe that people will vote for him, in the future! That is what electability means.

Do not get him confused with Iowa victors Bernie Sanders, who is too far left to be electable, or Pete Buttigieg, who seems like he emerged fully formed from an electability vat (which paradoxically makes him less electable). Amy Klobuchar is also running, but you can tell she is less electable than Biden because she got fewer votes than he did in Iowa. Yes, I know that is not how I just said electability worked. Keep up!

Just watch his campaign in action and you will see what electability means. It almost feels like a misnomer to call his rallies “rallies.” He does not need to rally people around him. They are already rallied, convened by his electability.

Instead, in Hudson, a crowd of approximately 600 stood silently in a gymnasium as Biden spoke with increasing fervor about the bewilderment and anger he feels at the trajectory of the country and about how his Cabinet will be sure to include “women and blacks and browns.” The room was deathly still. Someone dressed as a polar bear wordlessly protested fossil fuels. According to the banners, the girls’ basketball team had not won a championship since 1998 — 10 years after his first unsuccessful presidential campaign, 10 years before his next one. Twenty-two years before this one.

But this is what it means to be the ever-electable Joe Biden. To be always running and never quite president, always electable until the race begins. He’s almost at the point where Henry Clay would feel bad for him. And there is so much to Joe — a deep sorrow, decades of experience and a folksiness designed in an era when only certain people got to be folks, less and less serviceable.

“I think his time is past,” Pat Darrin, 73, told me after watching the Hudson rally. But how can his time have passed if it never came? Joe Biden is electable. Just not here, or now. Maybe back then? No, that’s not right. Maybe in the future? Just not right here. Just not right now.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opini...-or-right-now/

02.10.2020, 08:49 PM	#43
!@#$%! invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: mars attacks Posts: 42,479	this one is very fucking funny Biden is the most electable candidate, just not right here or right now By Alexandra Petri Columnist Feb. 10, 2020 at 3:20 p.m. MST HUDSON, N.H. — It is very clear that what Joe Biden has in spades, what we fear the other candidates may not have, is electability. That is why you should vote for him: because, assuredly, people will vote for him! People currently at your caucus site or polling place are not voting for him yet, but they should, because, as previously stated, he is electable. They should vote for him because he is just the sort of man for whom people will definitely vote. Just not the people right here or right now. There is a complicated physics to this, which you have to understand. I do not think I am explaining it right. Biden is still the most electable candidate, although he got only the fourth-most votes in Iowa and is polling only fourth best in other places. But that is a misunderstanding. Just because people there in Iowa were not voting for him does not mean he is not electable. They were just trying to show that their state should not be first in the process. Consider how unelectable Elizabeth Warren is — and she got more votes than he did! He will be voted for by people in states such as Pennsylvania and, of course, Ohio and, to be sure, South Carolina and definitely, absolutely Wisconsin and maybe even others! His electability is in the future. He is the one who will bring first this party together, and then the nation! Also, Republicans will vote for him. When you look at his totals currently, you must mentally add a flotilla of Republicans who have not yet materialized. They are not here now, because this is the Democratic primary, but they will absolutely be here, in the future. You must believe that people will vote for him, in the future! That is what electability means. Do not get him confused with Iowa victors Bernie Sanders, who is too far left to be electable, or Pete Buttigieg, who seems like he emerged fully formed from an electability vat (which paradoxically makes him less electable). Amy Klobuchar is also running, but you can tell she is less electable than Biden because she got fewer votes than he did in Iowa. Yes, I know that is not how I just said electability worked. Keep up! Just watch his campaign in action and you will see what electability means. It almost feels like a misnomer to call his rallies “rallies.” He does not need to rally people around him. They are already rallied, convened by his electability. Instead, in Hudson, a crowd of approximately 600 stood silently in a gymnasium as Biden spoke with increasing fervor about the bewilderment and anger he feels at the trajectory of the country and about how his Cabinet will be sure to include “women and blacks and browns.” The room was deathly still. Someone dressed as a polar bear wordlessly protested fossil fuels. According to the banners, the girls’ basketball team had not won a championship since 1998 — 10 years after his first unsuccessful presidential campaign, 10 years before his next one. Twenty-two years before this one. But this is what it means to be the ever-electable Joe Biden. To be always running and never quite president, always electable until the race begins. He’s almost at the point where Henry Clay would feel bad for him. And there is so much to Joe — a deep sorrow, decades of experience and a folksiness designed in an era when only certain people got to be folks, less and less serviceable. “I think his time is past,” Pat Darrin, 73, told me after watching the Hudson rally. But how can his time have passed if it never came? Joe Biden is electable. Just not here, or now. Maybe back then? No, that’s not right. Maybe in the future? Just not right here. Just not right now. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opini...-or-right-now/
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