[gmku]

Here's my theory. It's a little convoluted but I think it works.

Cantankerous is really a bitter old woman who is keeping her granddaughter, the girl with green hair we see in these photos from time to time, captive in the attic. Cantankerous is a former hippie-junky from the 1960s. This is why you see the occassional obsession with records and music from the 1960s and 1970s, like Bob Dylan, the Velvet Underground, and the Rolling Stones. These are really the last albums she personally bought. She sends her granddaughter out to work in a record store from time to time to support her heroin habit and to steal new records. But the Cantankerous who posts here is really the old woman who is abusing her 16-year-old granddaughter, whom she shoots up with heroin to keep subdued between gigs at the record store.

I defy "Cantankerous" to prove to us that this is not true. There is no other explanation. No 16-year-old could really be so bitter, or have such a good record collection.