[The Soup Nazi]

3/4

NYR: How did you first get involved with Lydia and Teenage Jesus?

JC: I met her and that's all.

NYR: Do you have compatible personalities?

JC: I wouldn't say we're compatible, no.

NYR: Did you learn anything from her musically? Did you exchange ideas?

JC: Teenage Jesus is Lydia's band. I just made up my own parts and that's all.

NYR: Did that band become, finally, too restrictive for you?

JC: Teenage Jesus was the only time I didn't front my own band.

NYR: You don't consider yourself part of any movement, then?

JC: AARGHHH! NO!! I DESPISE movements!! I'd never be part of any movement!!

NYR: Is the grouping on No New York, then, a marriage of convenience?

JC: Yeah, someone else's convenience, not mine!!

NYR: Was it a rewarding experience making that record?

JC: I never feel rewarded by any experience!!

NYR: Did you learn anything? Was Eno helpful at all?

JC: Yeah, he gave me a record. I learned I should produce my own records from now on.

NYR: Did he allow you to do what you wanted?

JC: No, he did it his way. He thought his way was the best way to do it.

NYR: Was there discussion?

JC: No, he just called me up and I had to go in the studio and do it that day, I had never even spoken to him about it beforehand. I just heard from other people on the record he wanted to do it. But, don't get me wrong...me and Brian are pals!!

NYR: Do you feel your music is unique and has never been done before?

JC: Yeah, I think my stuff is the only thing around which is any good, too.

NYR: Why?

JC: Because everything else is shit.

NYR: That's pretty dogmatic, isn't it?

JC: No, there are, of course, a few exceptions.

NYR: Who is your favorite band of the moment?

JC: Beirut Slump, Lydia's new band. That's the only band around I like. The outfits I'm grouped with are the ones I least want to be grouped with. I want nothing to do with that art bullshit!! Whenever I see those art-types is when I get the most violent.

NYR: Do you have a trip about wanting to be black?

JC: I don't have trips, period!! Especially about wanting to be black!! That's the least thing in the world I'd ever want to be — black!!

NYR: Do you idolize James Brown?

JC: I don't idolize anyone!

NYR: From your record collection, it's obviously all you listen to.

JC: Because it's the most interesting music to me, but that doesn't mean black people have any great thing about themselves besides their music. I mean, I like the music despite how disgusting I think black people are.

NYR: How do you feel as a white person playing black music? Don't you succumb to the very liberalism you despise?

JC: I'm NOT a liberal!!!

NYR: Do you get along with blacks?

JC: Not really.

NYR: What do you see happening to race relations in this country?

JC: I think they're deteriorating and I think it's great.

NYR: Do you predict race riots?

JC: Now that black people are smart enough to attack the source; I mean they always were...

NYR: Burning and looting?

JC: Yeah, I think it's great.

NYR: What do you think about reggae?

JC: I hate everything about it. The idiocy of these scummy hippies, living without washing and smoking pot all the time and prancing around like a bunch of faggots, playing the prissiest music ever written with all these idiot white people gobbling it up like oatmeal.

NYR: Are you political at all? Do you try to be totally individualistic?

JC: I don't try to be anything. If I see in the newspaper that four hundred people killed themselves, I might buy it, but other than that, I don't pay attention to any of that shit!

NYR: Do you have a sense of humor? Can you laugh at yourself?

JC: I don't see myself as anywhere near as funny or ridiculous as 99% of the people around me.

NYR: Is laughter a legitimate audience response to the Contortions, as far as you're concerned?

JC: The laugh is on them!! I mean, if they want to be a bunch of horses, sitting around, braying and laughing, they can go right ahead.

NYR: What's your attitude towards your audience?

JC: They are despicable.

NYR: How do you feel about applause?

JC: I think it's ridiculous. Why do people think I'm going to like it if they applaud? They applaud for anything, anyway.

NYR: Why do you perform? Is it satisfying?

JC: I wouldn't say it was very satisfying.

NYR: Why is your music so frustrating, so tension-producing?

JC: Well, partly because my band is usually pretty fucked-up when we go on stage. It isn't meant to make you feel good. Those people don't deserve to feel good!! They should feel nothing but a heel sticking in their mouths, grinding away.

NYR: You're not very tolerant of humanity-at-large.

JC: How can anybody be? Just look at them!!

NYR: Don't you sense the things you feel increasingly mirrored in contemporary culture? You're certainly not alone in the way you think!

JC: The only thing I look at in the mirror is myself.

NYR: Don't you see yourself as a possible commercial entity in the future?

JC: I'm a commercial entity right now!