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The Cruiser Ned: It is unusual to find this ned outside a car unless he is being questioned by the police and they are usually only seen from chest level up wearing a burberry base ball cap. These cruiser neds are dedicated to making their cars look as stupid as possible and they regularly congregate at public parks and waste ground to show off how stupid the cars look and how many unnecessary things they have added to their "motors" that week. These neds consume a lot of money to pursue their hobby and so will protect their cars with their life so it is not advisable to do anything to their cars other than point and laugh. Some people may get mixed up between a "cruiser ned" and a "common ned in a clapped out nova". The main difference between the two is that a cruiser ned will travel in circles for a whole night pumping crap music out of the window where as a common ned in a nova will drive fast for a night then set fire to the car.
The Working Ned: This is quite an unusual ned as they are not work shy in the slightest and will work full time hours like the rest of us. They do though, as you would imagine, bring their own touch of nedness to the working environment. The most common type of working ned is the one who gets on a bus in the morning (always the bus, even if a better transport option is available they will get on the bus) and head straight to the back to smoke a fag and discuss the weekend's football/fighting/drinking with his working ned friends. As this ned passes on the bus you will observe a glass bottle of Irn Bru and a Sun/Daily Record rolled up and in his back pocket and those big dirty brown boots with the woollen top on them that they all wear but aren't sold anywhere. Another type of working ned is the office ned. These working neds are not as obvious as the other kind as they are usually required to conform to the shirt and tie dress codes but you can spot one of these working neds by a sly pair of Burberry socks or a cap that comes off before the office is entered. These neds will also usually drive a car with unnecessary things attached to it and will bomb it into and out of the office car park in a show of neddism.
The Cinema Ned: This ned can be found in any cinema in the country. It can't be considered a ned on its own as it it only found in goups but its almost certain that if you go to see a really poor american blockbuster or generic teen movie there will be a group of cinema neds eating popcorn loudly and laughing amongst each other...all through the film. The common reaction among normal people is to tell these neds to be quiet but unless you are yourself a ned of equal or greater status of the lead ned of the cinema group this will not work. If you turn to these neds and say 'shut up', for example, you will most likey recieve a higher pitched 'you shut up' in return from the groups resident wee cheeky ned followed by the high pitched laughter of some impressed sengas and low pitched grunting of the resident goon. There is no way to stop these neds other than to hope that a 'cool motor' or half naked woman appears on the screen.
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