[Glice]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

dear boardies,

i may or may have not had sperm stolen from me 14 years ago, while drunk. this thing above might have been the product of such an alcoholic night. however, the truth of this fact remains in obscurity. tweedleedick and tweedledunce ("the kids") could be the involuntary fruit of my loins, or could be imposters attempting to lay claims on the family fortune. therefore, until i have discussed the matter with my lawyers, i take no responsibility for their creation, or the resulting speech and mental impairments from which they suffer. i only ask you, for the sake of humanity, to treat them as you would a pet turtle, or a favorite vegetable-- without complete indifference, and without cruelty. nature has already punished them enough while dispensing her gifts. do not add to their suffering by pointing out their shortcomings.

thank you.

Why don't you try endlessly whinging about it for the next 3 FUCKING YEARS YOU SAD LITTLE GOBSHITE. It's helped others, or so it seems. This is obviously only partially addressed to y'self.