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Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom

I'm really over people saying it's really not that hard to make eye contact.

Do you make solid eye contact all the time? I try to but I just.. can't. It's really tough when someone insists you look in their eyes to ensure you're being truthful.

well it's kind of like when people appear to AVERT their eyes it's like they are hiding something. if the person looks all tensed up (usually noticed by the tensed up tiny pupil) that can mean they are forcing a stare to get away with a lie.

the trick is to look into someone's eyes and remain relaxed-- hidden cues like pupil dilation will give the message that the other person is relaxed and therefore it's ok to drop your "weapons", ha.

also in tests, women with bigger pupils appear "sexier" than those with pinholes. i mean the same picture of the same woman but with the eyes photoshopped.

usually tough the point is not to have a fixed stare, which can scare people, but to make positive eye contact at appropriate moments to punctuate the conversation. what that means is that you make the other person your *general* focus of attention but don't fix your eyes on them until it's time to make a signal of sorts, say something important/meaningful/etc.

im at the cardealer right now looking at some sales dude look at the people and he talk to a couple he moves his eyes between one and the other & the cars around. interesting thing to watch, kind of like "national geographic". sales people are good to watch because usually they are very good at interacting with people (if they are good at what they do).

well i hope this was useful!