[Cantankerous]

Originally Posted by Katy

Yeah, so do I, really. I don't particularly like taking what I take, but the reason I do take my meds now is because of the experience I had last year when I decided to not take anything at all. I just stopped one day without telling anyone. I decided that if I just ate properly and went to the gym a lot I'd be fine. I did everything right. I was as healthy as could be and I was going to therapy. But i was also lying to my doctors and my family and friends, pretending to take my meds and just storing them under my bed. And over the course of weeks and months I got worse and worse until i ended up in the hospital almost as bad as I'd been at my very worst. I had hundreds of pills and capsules stashed under my bed by the time i finally admitted what I'd been doing... and by that point that was a kind of dangerous stash to have. And I HATED the fact that I hadn't been able to "cure myself". It was really hard to accept that it hadn't worked, despite all my efforts. It didn't make sense. It still doesn't make sense. But that's mental illness I suppose. It's unfair and doesn't make sense.

So now I take them. And things are a bit better, not great, but not awful. Mostly manageable. the drugs are "I gotta do what I gotta do".. and all that.

sometimes mental illness is no fun.