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Originally Posted by !@#$%!
wow luxy-- really?
i don't think that's the case with everyone-- there's a point in a healthy relationship when the other person becomes like you-- i mean, they become your family and you do care about them and sure everyone has selfish instincts buy they are mixed with altruistic ones. human behavior isn't so cut and dry, and we have genetics to think for it... just look at mothers. sure reproduction is the most selfish of instincts, and yet mothers of many species will give their lives to protect their young. it's all very tricky & complicated. but it's great when you find someone who can be a part of your little tribe. so to speak.
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Sure, I know of some families that have become like little tribes who I can't imagine ever being apart, but they are few. Spouses will turn on each other before their own children, and I do think blood is a factor in that, and whether it's the biological instinct or social ideals that make people prioritize like that isn't really the issue.
I'm not saying that non-relatives are incapable of forming bonds, whether they're based in friendship or romance or whatever. But I am saying that especially when things are going badly in such a relationship, each person has his or her own best interest in mind. Sometimes their best interest is to continue with the relationship, and that may be mistaken for wanting to save the relationship because you love so-and-so rather than wanting to save their own ass, and in many cases, avoid divorce at all costs because it is hell.