[!@#$%!]

i feel like going hungry & watching people eat from outside restaurant windows while it rains. feel like going through the dumpster looking for my next meal. i feel like having lice in my pubes and a weird rash on my ass. i feel like being bitten by fleas. i feel like picking cigarette butts from the floor so i can have a smoke. i feel like having a permanent sore throat. i feel like being constantly harassed by the police, the rats, and other drifters looking for money or sex. i feel like having a cancerous sunburn on my nose. i feel like exploring with my tongue the ever-increasing holes of the rows of my teeth. i feel like having constant diarrhea, beriberi, scurvy, scabies. i feel like losing hair as if i was on chemotherapy. i feel like finally calling my parents & asking them to bail me out of jail & take me home because i don't have a fucking cent and i'm sick and malnourished.

for all romantic wankers, shirkers of responsibility, delusional dreamers, life-avoiding pansies, assorted crackheads, spoiled children, believers in utopias, and just plain dunces, i wholeheartedly recommend, no, i hereby order, under penalty of being declared permantly stupid, from birth and by inheritance, that you read george orwell's "down and out in paris and london" before you set out on your next adventure, which you'll one day remember (if you live) as "the rude awakening."