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Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead
One time I went to an abandoned insane asylum and these hicks that were also trespassing (this was a pretty popular place to trespass) kept trying to scare my group.
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Your intro is good here and you've got some rising action, but you're not taking it anywhere. An ellaboration on 'scare' would take the action over the peak and then your denouement could deal with the repercussions / consequences.