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You do the crime, you do the time.
Lucky for you, America's prisons are better than they have ever been. Soap was discontinued in 2003, so there's no danger of the old "dropped the soap" incident anymore. Now we have a guard shooting shower gel in 3-second bursts out of a hosepipe through a hole in the wall. It's best to catch it in your mouth.
I'd wish you good luck, but you're still a criminal..
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