[gmku]

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I can be free to scratch my balls or adjust the fly of my boxers where, when, and with whom I feel like it.

(With apologies to Kenny Rodgers or whoever the fuck sings that song of patriotism.)

I sometimes have this problem with boxer shorts where my junk starts to slip through the fly as I'm walking down the street. I have to adjust. It's totally necessary, and I'm not doing it to be obscene. I'm doing it out of a sense of self-preservation. Zippers are brutal.