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my study. keeping it together.
I'm studying because, I love the thing I study, and because I want to teach it and give people who are younger than me, the opportunities I had no idea existed, when I was lacking motivation, back then.
Though sometimes I just lose it. Often times really.
The work piles up, I dont want to take the 1.5 + hour journey on a particular day.. I leave things at home.. I forget to get things I need from the store, or wasnt able to.. I come home to a fucked up house that is messy and gross and BUNNY POOED EVERYWHERE and plates and clothing and general hoohaa that seems to call out to me to clean it up. I yell at my partner because he doesnt understand that I need to see trees /grass/ living things each day or else I get spastic and start crying for no good reason. This may be a psychological dysfunction Im aware, but if it works then why is it a big deal?
I have no friends (see thread from like a week ago)
.....
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tiny and lost.
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