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Originally Posted by uhler
anyone have any advise?
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I'd say take it slow.
That isn't meant to be a dis, but really you don't have any other particular choice aside from ending things, right?
So you are probably worrying if she lacks commitment and might see other guys while you are making your way up there. "Take it slow" probably means to her for you not to worry about that, either because: 1) she gets freaked out by people who worry too much about it or 2) she definitely wants to be able to do so. Either way, you are best off to not let it get to you and just wait and see how it turns out.
When you talk on the phone and online, talk about good places for
you to live when you get there, not for you and her to live. Don't ask about who she was with when she did stuff unless she mentions it, and don't ask for details about who other people are unless she volunteers that stuff. Give her all the space she asks for and more while still sharing the stuff you have in common and the things you
might do together when you're there.
When you show up, she may turn out to be the girlfriend you want to have, or she may not. If not, there are probably 50,000 other girls of interest in NYC for you to meet instead. If you are actually moving up there mostly because she lives there, you better make sure you'd want to live there if she didn't exist first. Which isn't being pesssimistic, it could still work out, but don't set yourself up for a huge let down if you really don't have any reason to be sure.