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My favourite:
A terrible flood is striking the nation, and after two days waters are reaching inland. At the priest's house, it's four foot deep, but an army dinghy come into view and offers rescue. 'No' says the priest, 'God will save me, I will come to no harm'.
The next day the waters are ten foot deep and the priest has gone up to the top floor. From his bedroom window he sees the same army dinghy doing another search. 'Leave me be - God will not desert me', he reiterates.
Overnight, the flood intensifies and the priest is forced out of his bed and onto the roof of his house. Fortunately the army are doing their final patrol before things become too hazardous, and they beseech him to climb aboard. 'No, I say', quips the priest, 'My God will protect me, my faith is unshakeable'.
The waters rise and the priest drowns. Admitted into heaven, he approaches God, tears running down his cheeks. 'I trusted you, my Lord, all through the flood I kept my faith. Yet you let me die in the waters. Why did you not move to save me?'.
'You knobhead', says God, 'I sent three dinghys!'.
Arf arf.
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