[SpectralJulianIsNotDead]

[The scene takes place at a building site. Sam's's hammering. The Foreman and a couple other men are walking around. The Kid enters pushing by a man. He takes off his flannel jacket with frustration and slams his coffee cup down.]
Foreman: Hey kid, you're late! Kid: I had trouble getting dressed.
Foreman: Kid, remember: The snooze button? It's your friend *and* your enemy.
Kid: Right. Well, let's get to it then, eh? Let's uh [tosses hammer to the flow] let's hammer some nails, eh?
Foreman: Hey, what's wrong with you?
Kid: I hate this job. I'm in a rut deep enough to hang up posters.
Foreman: So why don't you quit?
Kid: I can't. The only thing worse than haven a job is lookin' for one.
Foreman: I thought I recognized that look.
Kid: What look?!
Foreman: The look of a guy who's daydreaming about a disabling but non-crippling injury.
Kid: How did you know?
Foreman: Hey! I'm a foreman! [pause] How old are you, kid? Seventeen? Eighteen?
Kid: Twenty-nine.
Foreman: You might be ready. Alright. There is a way for the average guy to get what's comin' to him; it's called "compensation."
Kid: [unfamiliar] Compenthation?
Foreman: Compensation -- it comes from a Latin word meaning "free money." A glorious way to live life at its fullest; well, 90% of its fullest.
[Sam does a dumb guy laugh -- like Idiot Boy would. All three look gather close and look to the sky.]
Foreman: Compensation is a river of goodness, flowing through the industrial heartland of America, dispensing its bounty to the blue collar hero brave enough to laugh at its shores.
Kid: Sounds alright!
Foreman: Yeah, it is! There was a guy who used to work here -- name of Dino. Sam? Show 'im where Dino worked.
[Sam marks the spot by banging his hammer on a floorboard.]
Foreman: He worked right there. He used to come to work every Monday morning, hating his job--
Kid: Hey, like me!
Foreman: Yeah, sure! But he won't be back for nine months thanks to Momma Compensation. I hear he bought a dog and trained it! Me? Ah, I got a bad back. Ah.
[The foreman sits; Sam helps him by bracing his back.]
Kid: You've been on compensation?
Foreman: Hell yes, we've all prayed at the alter of compensation -- even Sam.
[Sam illustrates his maladies, by touching the body part and going "agh!" First, his shoulder, then wrist, then knee, and then head.]
Kid: Well, when am I gonna get some?!
Foreman: Hey, it's not that easy. Compensation? She's a bitch goddess. She gives with one hand, she takes away with the other.
[Sam acts out the last line by reaching out with his hand, then pulling it away, then looking around as if to ask, "where did it go?"]
Foreman: Understand? I knew this guy. Have a seat.
[The kid sits. Sam crouches down on the floor, next to Mark.]
Foreman: He worked one of those cushy factory jobs. You know what I'm talkin' about? He uh used to cut pipe as it came off the assembly line -- a blade cutter, you know? [pulls imaginary lever] Cuh-chunk, cuh-chunk. Let the pipe go through. Cuh-chunk, cuh-chunk. Count to two.
Kid: What'd that pay?
Foreman: $11.40 an hour.
Kid: Wow!
Foreman: But one day, he's workin' overtime, real hard. They don't know what it was -- maybe it was the drugs, the noise, the pollution... But he starts hearin' voices, right? Cuh-chunk, cuh-chunk. "Hey man, take a vacation." Cuh-chunk, cuh-chunk. "Get on compensation." Cuh-chunk, cuh-chunk. "Give me your hand." Cuh-chunk, cuh-chunk. "Give me your hand!" Cuh-chunk, cuh-chunk! And he does!
Kid and Sam: Ugh!!
Foreman: He thought he had it all figured it out.
Kid: Yeah.
Foreman: Do ya know where he was the next day?
Kid: Yeah, he was gettin' drunk in Hawaii.
Foreman: Wrong. He was right back at that machine -- workin' it with the other hand!!
Kid: Ah!!!
[Sam follows with an "ah!"]
Foreman: So, what's it gonna be?
Kid: I want in. I just gotta be smart.
Foreman: Yeah? How?
Kid: I'll shoot off my foot with my brother's crossbow!
Foreman: Nooo. It's gotta happen at work. C'mon, you're a laborer, use your imagination.
Kid: I'll drink forty-gallons of this varnish!
Foreman: Nooo. It's gotta look like an accident.
Kid: I'll tell 'em I was *really thirsty!*
Foreman: Look at Sam's hammer.
[Cut to Sam who is lightly tapping his hammer in the palm of his hand.]
Foreman: Doesn't that give you any ideas?
Kid: I could club myself in the head with Sam's hammer!
Foreman: Better yet, if you ask him really nice, he might do it for ya.
[Sam puts his ear towards their conversation and listens in; he slows down the tapping, waiting on their every word.]
The Foreman: He's sent more than one blue collar brother down soap opera lane.
Kid: Sam, will you club me with your claw hammer?
Sam: [dumb guy voice] Sure.
[The kid sits down. The Foreman knocks on his hard helmet.]
Kid: Oops. The wind. Whoosh. [He tosses his helmet down]
Foreman: Repeat after me: I am ready and willing--
Kid: I am ready and willing--
Foreman: To be disabled.
Kid: [pauses] To be disabled.
Foreman: Go Sam.
[Sam holds the hammer with both hands over his head, he starts to bring it down to the kid's head.]
Foreman: Not the hook end, you moron!!
Sam: Uhh!!! [He quickly turns it around and continues its downward path.]
[Clunk sound effect. Kid reacts to the sound and acts woozy. Cut to a blue-screen with a sky projection. Momma Compensation is dressed in a long, white dress that flows with the breeze; she also has long curly blonde hair. She's flying; the kid is too. The kid also has a bloody stream on the side of his head.]
Kid: [waving] Hey guys! Thanks for hurting me!
[The Foreman and Sam look up to the sky.]
Foreman: Look at him, Sam! He just punched in with the Goddess of Compensation! Go kid! Go!! Go!! Go!!
[Cut back to Momma Compensation and Kid. Momma Compensation holds out a portable TV and six-pack of beer, offering them to him.]