This is a local newsreader - I'd be surprised if many of you know who he is, but I'd be surprised if you didn't think he was a twat. Because he is. Oh yes.
"I'm fucking amazing at cricket" Yes, yes you are - you twat!
"Maybe if I play snooker no-one will notice I'm a twat". Unlucky, y'twat!
"Just look into our eyes and you will know the secret of twat" No thanks, you fretless six-string bass wielding, shit jam-band twathorses!