[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Danny Himself

!@#$% says to stop judging, he's probably older and wiser than me- actually not probably, he is, but in my youthful confidence I'll throw in my two cents on the matter.

I still judge and criticise myself on many points and I don't see it as anything bad, it's just what helps me feel good about myself. For instance, when my hair looked bad, I said to myself, "you have a bad hairstyle", and I went and got it cut and then I looked much better and got many compliments from people about it and that made me feel better about it, it gave me confidence.

Thats self-judging that did me a world of good! To contrast the superficiality of that example I'll offer a second; I knew too well that I was too shy and quiet and that I was wasting time being hung up about making a fool of myself- I changed that when I started at Community College and knew that with a fresh start I could reassess myself and reinvent myself to my fullest potential. I took risks, yes, but I'm a lot happier for it. I've made more friends than I ever thought I'd have and they're all lovely people who make me smile.

good point danny but when lucy mentions depressed i see a little beneath the surface-- depression is usually brought about by self-punishment and self-condemnation (i am an expert in that matter! i made my own life miserable for decades!).

so yeah i still get haircuts & try to do this & that & the other, recently moved to a decent city, made lots of progress in what people would call "my life", but the main point is that when i fail or fall short of my expectations i may feel a bit sad but i don't start putting myself down inside my head-- on the contrary, i treat myself kindly-- just like i would a friend.

so if your hair looks crummy and you don't have money for a decent haircut don't go around telling yourself youre a worthless slob is what im saying, ha ha ha-- don't make self esteem conditional on "goals" and appearances. be your best friend no matter what you do.