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Originally Posted by alteredcourse
Its true..cognitive behavioral therapy 101 . Lately I have been getting better at that . Where I always get stuck at is actually integrating ACTION into my life . I'll halt the negativity , only so far as ignoring it but not really changing my bad habits . If I get into a phase of very good behavior (living healthier , etc ) thats all it is, is a phase , and I dont come out of it with the bad thoughts returning , I just get bored and forget all about it . Its lazyness . Eventually I realize that I trailed off and failed again , and am returned to the beginning .
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oh i didnt know that was cognitive therapy-- i kinda landed onto that after reading "shame theory"-- ha ha-- well it's not called like that, it's family systems theory which shows how fucked up behaviors like addiction, violence, abuse are handed down from one generation to the next one-- teaching people self-hate & destructive behaviors-- even when meaning well.
my parents meant well but they were hardasses-- nothing i did was ever good enough so i was never "good". hence i learned to not give a shit & then hate myself for being an underachiever.
wow, i got confessional on the board. but fuckit, it's for a good cause.
so anyway, fast forward to a few years ago, i had that eureka moment when i realized that
i was working for the enemy. criticizing and punishing myself mentally for my "flaws"-- as if i could ever solve them all-- and sapping my energy into horrid depressive states.
so i refused to participate & with practice it became easy. i had other techniques/readings/theories/therapies/shit to rely upon so it was a sort of critical mass when shit eventually happened.
but yeah, you gotta keep working on it even when there seems to be no progress.
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Originally Posted by Cantankerous
there's actually something that kurt cobain said that i think would be appropriate to mention...how some parents yell and scream and in some instances become physically abusive towards their children for making mistakes or having accidents, like spilling a drink or breaking something, and how that's a sick psychological trick to play on a child. which it is, because by doing that, they become conditioned to behave the same way towards their children and they beat themselves up for making insignificant errors.
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that's basically family systems theory. it shows you how you're not an "individual" in the world but learned who you are in the context of a family system-- dysfunctional families breed dysfunctional individuals, etc.
there's a guy by the name of bradshaw who is/was a brilliant shrink & a recover(ing?) alkie who did some PBS shows back in the day and wrote a few books also. he's no william faulkner but he's got great insights on how this shit works and how to extricate oneself from it. i don't agree 100% with what he says (he's religious, i'm not), but anyone can appreciate the useful parts.
anyway my dear interweb bots, i gotta go hang out w/ madame !@#$%!, who smells yummy.
good nights.