[Mostly Harmless]

Women and the munchies- two things that hopelessly inhibit yr better judgment.
Hungry and blazed, I was walking downtown with my associate, known affectionately as the Librarian. As usual I had about fifteen cents on me but I was dying for a meal. My mind became consumed with the idea of eating but the situation was so hopeless I settled on the undesirable reality that I'd have to walk the two and a half miles back to my house before I could obtain a decent meal.
And eureka, God did me a solid: through a street window I found a repast fit for an International Conference of Kings. “Phill! Don't!” screamed my associate, but I wasn't listening- I was already inside the campaign headquarters of the Mayor, a place teeming with the well-to-do senior citizens/baby-boomers who live off the blood of my kind, but walking into this minefield was a risk my stoned mind was willing to take for this feast of baked goods.
Librarian walked in and pulled on my arm to drag me back outside. Again he was too late- the Mayor of our small city had just spotted two young potential voters, and damned if he wasn't going to win us over to his side of our town's trivial politics.
Weed is funny. My associate had sufficient reason to be paranoid. He had danced with that sultry mistress Mary Jane and now faced the current mayor and former police chief. But the drug warped what should have been responsible caution to a terrifying superstition.
Weed is funny. I too had sufficient reason to be paranoid. But food had shocked good vibes through my mind, and besides, police-chief or otherwise this man could not possibly be an enemy, not with that firm handshake, quick grin, and down-to-earth ease of conversation. No fucking way. Being completely disarmed and high as fuck, I just chattered my little head off while my associate suffered a self-imposed case of lockedjaw. Before long I was slapping backs with this Champion of the People, and eating my fill of this sumptuous feast as the Guest of Honor.
And that's why whenever I walk downtown I walk with my head held high, because when my Mayor saunters his way through the downtown strip with his entourage he always saves my associate and me a big “Hello Phill! Those are my friends, Phill and his loyal sidekick Librarian!”