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Play them a Burroughs spoken word LP. Hearing his croaking voice talking about junkies being schlupped up will make them as straight edge as Ian McKaye.
Hmm, I think Ian MacKaye's a humorless cock. Scrap that idea then - play them "Sheela-Na-Gig" by PJ Harvey instead. Yes, that'll work.
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Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
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