http://www.ccel.org/d/dostoevsky/kar...chapter04.html
THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV
Chapter 4 - Cana of Galilee
IT was very late, according to the monastery ideas, when Alyosha returned to the hermitage; the door-keeper let him in by a special entrance. It had struck nine o'clock- the hour of rest and repose after a day of such agitation for all. Alyosha timidly opened the door and went into the elder's cell where his coffin was now standing.There was no one in the cell but Father Paissy, reading the Gospel in solitude over the coffin, and the young novice Porfiry, who, exhausted by the previous night's conversation and the disturbing incidents of the day, was sleeping the deep sound sleep of youth on the floor of the other room. Though Father Paissy heard Alyosha come in, he did not even look in his direction. Alyosha turned to the rightf rom the door to the corner, fell on his knees and began to pray. His soul was overflowing but with mingled feelings; no single sensation stood out distinctly; on the contrary, one drove out another in a slow, continual rotation. But there was a sweetness in his heart and, strange to say, Alyosha was not surprised at it. Again he saw that coffin before him, the hidden dead figure so precious to him, but the weeping and poignant grief of the morning was no longer aching in his soul. As soon as he came in, he fell down before the coffin as before a holy shrine, but joy, joy was glowing in his mind and in his heart. The one window of the cell was open, the air was fresh and cool. "So the smell must have become stronger, if they opened the window," thought Alyosha. But even this thought of the smell ofcorruption, which had seemed to him so awful and humiliating a few hours before, no longer made him feel miserable or indignant. He began quietly praying, but he soon felt that he was praying almostmechanically. Fragments of thought floated through his soul, flashedlike stars and went out again at once, to beby others.But yet there was reigning in his soul a sense of the wholeness ofthings- something steadfast and comforting- and he was aware of ithimself. Sometimes he began praying ardently, he longed to pour outhis thankfulness and love... But when he had begun to pray, he passed suddenly to somethingelse, and sank into thought, forgetting both the prayer and what hadinterrupted it. He began listening to what Father Paissy wasreading, but worn out with exhaustion he gradually began to doze. "And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee,"read Father Paissy. "And the mother of Jesus was there; And both Jesuswas there; And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to themarriage." "Marriage? What's that?... A marriage!" floated whirling throughAlyosha's mind. "There is happiness for her, too... She has gone tothe feast.... No, she has not taken the knife.... That was only a succeeded tragic phrase.... Well... tragic phrases should be forgiven, they mustbe. Tragic phrases comfort the heart... Without them, sorrow wouldbe too heavy for men to bear. Rakitin has gone off to the backalley. As long as Rakitin broods over his wrongs, he will always gooff to the back alley.... But the high road... The road is wide andstraight and bright as crystal, and the sun is at the end of it....Ah!... What's being read?"...