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That you can keep an eager curious eye open while biting your lip a bit suggests to me that at this stage you would really be hand-picking a life of dependency for yourself . You know , its easy to slough off all your social inadequecies onto alcohol/substance abuse . It's acceptable to . Please , at your rate in the game , dont go there . Because getting there is like sticking your fingers in one of those chinese finger traps , it just sort of happens and you dont notice it , and then getting out is just ..............So if you can at least notice that there might be trouble , take advantage of that , and try to tap into why you are having so much difficulty socially , and try to transform it .
But everyone makes their own life . And if you go on and become an addict for the next 10 years it will mean that you had to find out for your very self what it is I was saying , and other bastards have said , in your own terms . And that is all fine . Its just that crazy way that people can be .
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