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fuck it, throw hell to the wind, pack a case and off to Oz, this is clearly doing your head in and you have to go just to see, if it doesnt work out get on the plane back home. ok you've spent X amount of money going and coming back but the money you've spent is the cost of finding out once and for all, then you know and its the end of the chapter - life moving on - case closed. I feel for you brother, love can make the most ordinary people do the most extraordinary things but dont ever comprimise, dont be a doormat. you deserve more.
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"Pescescimmia ha grandi bulbi oculari blu, ognuno attaccato su un lato della sua testa, in modo tale da risucire a guardare indietro senza girare la sua testa pesciosa"
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