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Originally Posted by Glice
I approve of this writing. I've a few minor criticisms - there's no need for the possessive apostrophe in "it's" - but generally speaking you're getting the narrative moving along nicely and quickly without losing characterisation. Also (and massive kudos for this) you're managing to use a future-y, sci-fi theme without it being gratuitously 'D&D geek wanking'.
I don't know about anyone else, but I absolutely hate when people treat sci-fi as a complete break with humanity in writing - I like to think the idea of a novel(la) is more about conveying human things rather than avoiding being able to create characters.
But yes - well done that man.
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any it's/its your/you're stuff will be fixed when I read it over
I know the difference, but when I'm writing I'll often accidentally go to homonyms, because I think I write phonetically but read grammatically, and when I'm typing fast, I often don't read what I'm writing.
My last sci-fi story was wrong in the way you described. I think I realized that it's very hard to write that sort of sci-fi and make it good. There is the original Star Wars trilogy and what else? So I've decided to forgo that type of writing.