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You're in a process of self-realization. It's an awesome thing when it happens. I posted a bit on when it happened to me last year, when I had that utter physical/mental breakdown that lasted for a few months, and had no idea what the hell was happening. When I did finally figure it out, that knowledge by itself helped things to improve. I'm guessing your situation is more external than mine was, and may not be so receptive to my solutions. But what you posted, hell, I could post it (except number 3). Renewed spirituality is one of the biggest things I took away from the whole ordeal. Anyway...hope most, if not all, these things work out. I just don't know about the cursing thing. Heh.
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